My Children's Father

     When you are married, you know how to feel. Occasionally you are going to feel angry at your spouse, but you are in love, and you are living your life together. Just like there is no handbook on how to be married, (though there a numerous books with someones opinion of what you need to do to stay married) there is not handbook for divorce.
     When you are divorced, everyone expects that the feelings you had for your spouse, simply vanished one day, never to return. Not so. That is what makes divorce so hard, the feelings. While there is anger, hurt and tears, there is also love and the memories you made as a family.
     Someone asked me if this blog was about venting about my ex. The answer is no. Although, I am sure there will be some venting, but that is not the sole purpose of this blog. It never was. Here is what I have to say about my ex.

      While we apparently can not be friends, we no longer see eye to eye on anything, (even the issues we did while we were married) I don't hate him. He is the very reason, I have my children. Without him, I would not have the children that I have, or the memories that I have. No matter what he says or does, he will always be their father and for that reason alone, I will always cherish him and our time together.
      I am saddened to loose my best friend and I have a lot of respect for the man he used to be, but none for the one he has become. Someday, I hope that we can get along for the sake of the little people in our lives, as regardless of the fact we are no longer in the same home, they still need us both. I pray that he chooses a relationship with his kids before its too late.
      I want the best for him and I hope he is happy with the life he chose over ours.
      Don't get me wrong, I am no saint and there are days I want to push him off a mountain for not seeing what he has done to our family, but, no, I do not hate him. I do not regret the life we used to share and I am 100% grateful for him and the part he played in my life for a brief time. Because of K, A, S and M, I will always love him, and always have a small place in my heart that is strictly for him. He gave me, the best parts of my life.
     Now if you were to ask me the same question about the woman in his life.....whole other story.