The devil Lurks in the Shadows

The cross, it is the very symbol of God's love for his people. It is the sacrifice made so that we could be save and our sins washed away. Thank you Jesus for the cross!! Without we wouldn't have the salvation we do with it.

A life built on the foundation of God is a life filled with possibility. Our God rules with love, yes there is discipline for when we do wrong, but it is done in love.

The devil Lurks

There is one thing I can tell you for certain, the devil is lurking, looking for a way in. He wants to separate us from the cross and lead us down a path of darkness and loneliness. The devil will only keep you company until you start to follow him and then his job is done. God's love never leaves us, even when we leave Him, He is still trying to get us to come back to Him. The book of Jeremiah is about God's judgment on His people, people He loved, who turned their backs on Him and worshiped idols and other gods.He brought famine, drought and sword to Judah.. He says in Jeremiah 14:12 - Although they fast, I will not listen to their cry; thought they offer burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Instead I will destroy them with the sword, famine and plague. Seems kinda harsh to us, however, Judah time and time again turned from God and did their own thing. They made the devil happy and angered, as well as saddened God.

All the devil wants is for us to turn our backs on the one who created us. The one who gave us life. He doesn't love us, he doesn't want to heal and protect us, he wants to keep us bitter and broken. He wants to destroy relationships that God put together. As I write this, I can attest to this. I won't use names, but there is a relationship that God wants together, I know, because I have prayed about it for numerous hours, and the devil is doing his best to destroy it. He has blinders on and she is doing her best to be patient and not lash out in anger, like the devil wants her to do. She has to daily plead the blood of Jesus over this relationship, speak biblical scriptures over it and spend a lot of time on her knees fighting for this relationship. Have you ever heard the saying, nothing worth doing is ever easy? This is so very true. God will test us, and she has been tested numerous times. They have both been hurt by past relationships and her goal is to prove that she is not going anywhere. Nothing is more important to her than her relationship with Jesus Christ, Not even him, but she will fight for him, she will love him and she will pray daily for him. The devil lurks in the dark corners trying to convince her that she is not worthy of him, that he will never love her, and that they will never be. The devil lies. He is here to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10) He wants nothing more than to take our joy, destroy our relationships and kill our faith.

God's Timing

God's timing is the best there is. If we never give up on our faith in Him, He will reveal His plan to us. For us humans, it is a lesson in patience and faith every time. There is a reason for God's timing. We need to work on something inside ourselves, someone else needs to work on something, or there is a piece we are still missing. Whatever His reasoning is, you can bet that His time is the perfect time. The girl I mentioned above, she can wallow in a broken heart or she can be filled with joy knowing that her Heavenly Father has this. She has decided to let go and let God be the driver in this situation. That doesn't mean she will sit idly by, she will be praying, and she will be reading the word and living her life. She will love him from the sidelines. 

Remember the book of Jeremiah I was talking about? The first part is about judgement. God was angry, but there is hope restored in Jeremiah. 30-33. The cross is also a symbol of hope, at least it is for me. It tells me that there is something bigger than myself out there. God is bigger than anything this world can throw at us, and sometimes it feels like it throws a lot. The devil is lurking in those dark corners just waiting to drag us under. He wants us to fail. He wants us to ignore the cross and turn away from God. I promise you, nothing good comes from turning away from God, and everything good comes from our faith, trust and hope in God. It is a relationship I promise you that won't fail you. Yes you will still get hurt, you will still struggle and have difficult times, but God is always there, holding your hand and guiding you through it. 

Pre-Marriage Prayer....

Praying for your marriage is something we all consider. The person who stands next to us day in and day out, who never gives up, even when they are angry is someone we know we need to pray for. Praying for God's grace and presence over your marriage should not even be a second or third thought, it should be your first thought in the morning and your last thought at night. Even something you do together.

What about before you are married? We don't think about praying over our marriages before they happen and yet it dawned on me today, that this is what I need to do. This is exactly what I need to do. I was writing verses in my journal regarding someone close to me, and it dawned on me that I can't fight for this person in this world, I need to fight for this person in the spiritual world. On my knees. I need to pray day in and day out. 

It is a crazy thing, when everyone is looks at me and wonders why I even bother. Let me tell you why, I bother, it is quite simple actually, God tells me to keep fighting. Coming from someone who was once married, I don't know the first thing about fighting for someone, because I know I didn't fight nearly hard enough for my marriage. I gave a halfhearted attempt at fighting for my ex, but nothing like I am doing now. 

Matthew 19:6 - Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. Matthew is talking about marriage here, vows that two people took in front of God when they became man and wife. So why am I quoting it here? Have you considered praying this over your future spouse? Probably not. Yet, this verse, when I look at it with the eyes of a woman fighting for the one she loves, I see how praying this over this man is the best thing I can do, on my knees, fighting for him in the spiritual world. 

I remember my grandma and even more recently my aunt, telling me that to pray over something is to give it wholly to God. To let God be in control and that is a bond no man or woman can break. Do not mistake me for someone who easily hands over control of things in her life, I don't. This does not come easy for me, but I know I can't do it on my own. Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we don't have to for God is our strength and with Him, we can do all things. So praying for this man, is the only thing I can do. It is the only way I know to fight for him. 

For those of you that know me personally and know who I am talking about, you would think that this something that should hit the man over the head. He is after all a man of God, yet even men of God struggle in some areas in their life and he is struggling. I see it. I hear it. I feel it. Crazy right? No. God driven. 

We need to speak these verses into our life, and into our relationship (you know that one that God has planned for us). This man, he is fight feelings, strong ones, of rage, bitterness and anger. I won't get into all of that here, those that need to know, know and are praying. I am praying. What this is about though is praying for marriages that God has planned, but we are not aware of. Trust me, today when this realization hit me, I was in awe. Why should I pray for my relationship with this idiot, I asked. (yes I used idiot). He is not praying for this. Why should I fight, why should I pray for something he doesn't even realize fully that he wants? 

The other day I wrote a twitter message that said, "While I struggle w/what to do, #God has revealed something vital I have missed focusing on my desires & not on Him #walkinfath #p31obs" This was written on May 15. What is the realization that missed? That no matter how much he fights with himself in regards to being in my life, he has stayed. No matter how many tries he has tried to talk himself out of being here, He is still here. In his heart he knows where he belongs, but in him mind, in that tiny place we all have that wants to be defiant, he is scared. 

Did you know that Satan uses our fears? He does. He loves them. They are our insecurities, that little voice that tells us we are not good enough, that we don't deserve to be happy and on and on this annoying voice goes....Tell it to stop already! I did, and when I did, God hit me with this realization that I am where God wants me and that is enough for me. We need to pray for our future relationships. This is the person that is going to be with us forever. The person that we are going to do this thing called life with. God has to be in that! It will never work without Him in it. 

Here are some verses that I wrote in my journal: 

Proverbs 16:3 - Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. Why this one? Every action we make leads us up to the end goal. Every action needs to be a God honoring action. By praying for this relationship, my actions honor God. The idiot may need more time to realize what I have, but in the mean time, with God, I am strong enough to fight for us without him. God will succeed where He is asked to help, God will succeed in His plans for our life, if we let Him in and have Faith. 

Song of Songs 7: 10 - I am my loves and he claims me as his own. Your right, verbally he has not. Even mentally he may not be there, but spiritually he knows. I have spent countless hours talking myself out of it. Telling myself that this is not what God wants, it can't be, because it is too hard. At times too painful. Wake up, God didn't promise easy and He didn't promise a hurt  free existent. I am fighting a worldly view and Satan, neither which I could do on my own. I need God. I

I am still in the process of finding more to use in this spiritual battle. Trust me, I argue with God regarding this man daily. In my journal along with these verses, I let him go. I gave my dream, and my heart to God. I let it go. How is this fighting if I am giving up? Oh ye of little faith, I am not giving up, I am giving it to God. God has it. I am trusting Him in this situation. I am praying. 

My next question was, "What if he doesn't come around to our way of thinking Lord". God gave us free will. He face us the choice to choose Him over all and he is giving this man the choice to choose what God has planned. I pray day in and day out for him, not just in the issue of a future relationship, but for the personal demons he has to fight. Satan wants nothing more than for him to sink into anger over previous relationships, over all that he has been through and continues to go through. 

This praying over my future marriage is not just for him, because he has the right not to choose this, even though I know in my heart (thanks to countless arguments with God over this) that he is the one. Does God do back up plans? He does, because we are so messy and human that we constantly mess up His plans for us and miss the first one. We marry the wrong people, I certainly did. We choose the wrong path, I have many times. We lose our way and while He will still fulfill His plan for us, He may have to work with the mess we made. 

This is hard for me to write because it makes me vulnerable. I don't know if he reads my blog, but if he does, I have just made myself extremely vulnerable. Yet I am writing this, not for me, but so that you know, those of you reading this, that you have to pray not just for marriage when or if it happens, but before it happens. Pray for it, bleed the blood over it, do whatever it takes. This doesn't guarantee an easy marriage, (what marriage is easy?), it doesn't guarantee a perfect marriage, but one built on the foundation of prayer and God's word is one that will work. One that will stay together regardless of the obstacles because you prayed God into it before it happened. Of course, once you are married you still have to pray God into it, you have build a foundation on His word, and you still have fight the evils of this world. What are you waiting for? Start praying! 

Until the Next Scribble...............

Gods Not so Little Reveal in My Little Mistake...

Good Morning,

Yesterday I was ready to go hear a friend of mine speak (normally I just call him Preacher Boy, but since he hates it and may one day read this, I will refrain from doing that). I was so excited to hear what God had been wanting him to say, what message God was revealing through him. I was so excited. I wore a really cute dress, (had to make an emergency stop for tights on the way) and then realized that I didn't know what street the church was on. I messaged him, only to later realize that he had broken his phone and didn't respond. In all my excitement and hurry to get to the church on time, (no matter how organized I can be, I am usually late). I ended up at the wrong church.

Way to go Me!!! :)

As I stood in the parking lot, I froze. I did not want to enter this church and yet I did. Immediately I knew that I was so far out of my comfort zone that I could no longer see my comfort zone. It was long gone. It was no where to be found and there was nothing I could cling to, except God. I was uncomfortable, I was uneasy and I wanted to be anywhere but where I was. Little did I know that I was exactly where God wanted me to be at exactly the moment that God wanted me to be there. (Still sad I missed my W's message.

How can one be uncomfortable in a church? Good question. Just read on, I am getting there....

I was so caught up in my discomfort and unease that I missed what God was actually showing me. I missed what in that moment He was trying to reveal to me. Only to realize it today as I read through my bible study. What God revealed to me after I left the church I understood immediately. I might be just a little stuck up and judgmental. Okay maybe more than just a little.

As I sat here reading the words in Lysa TerKeurst's book, What Happens When Woman Walk in Faith, I was struck with this awesome revelation that I completely missed last night while in the middle of it. Literally. Lysa tells us in chapter 14, to look for God in the little things and not be consumed with the bigger picture, with the big reveal or resurrection that God has in store for us. Well my revelation was not small, but these words hit home and brought to light what I should have seen last night.

I was not in my comfort zone, I was definitely out of place here. Anyone looking in, would notice me right away. The pastor looked at me several times during his message and I swear the look, was 'who is this girl sitting here, who is definitely not one of us.' In fact it reminded me of  a time I was in Montana in a town called Three Forks, (cutest little town, but again I was totally out of place). In both situations I was out of place, not in my comfort zone and I was way over dressed. Seriously. Here I was i a cute little black dress with a red belt, heels, tights, every hair almost perfectly in place and I was the only one dressed up. Everyone else was in shorts or jeans, tank tops, or tee-shirts. Even the pastor was in jeans and a polo-esque top. Needless to say I got some weird looks.

I am sure that the pastor was wondering who I was and why I was there, but I am positive my unease and discomfort at being in this church was showing. I didn't belong there. I was an outsider and yet I was exactly where God wanted me to be.

God revealed so much to me that I missed when I was seeing it. My "death phase," as Lysa calls it in her book, is hard. It seems like one major thing after another. One struggle after another. I finally found a job I love, only to discover it was temporary, like everything else seems to be lately. Temporary. Okay God, I get it, life is temporary, our time here on Earth is temporary. Everything actually is temporary. Except God. God is forever! God's love is never ending, never failing and forever. It is the furthest thing from temporary.

I know, you are waiting for me to get to the point.

These people are not (and I know how this is going to make me sound), the type of people I would willing and intentionally spend time around. (Yup, I know exactly what you are thinking). Let me explain, I grew up with a dad who was never there, who thought drugs and criminal behavior were more important than his children and wife. Who was never there when I needed him or wanted him to be. This lifestyle I witnessed all throughout my childhood, with many members of my family falling down this road. I can say this for my mother, with all the drugs and criminal activity going on around us, she did a pretty good job of sheltering us from this. I never experienced it too much first hand. I saw things I shouldn't have, but it would be impossible for any one to keep everything from touching us. Some things were impossible to hide. Like the guy who came to our home looking for my father with a gun. He could have killed my mother, (my brother and I were hiding). Instead he shot out her car windows, as a message to my father, who, HELLO, was not around.

So as I sat in this church I was reminded of my dad and the life he led. The drugs that consumed his life and left me fatherless. I hated drugs (still do) to a point that I wanted nothing to do with them or the people attached, associated or dwelling in them. You do drugs? Stay away. You did drugs or spent time in prison? Stay away. I want you no where near me, or my children. Even to this day, I keep my dad a safe distance away from myself and my children. I don't want this life to touch them, and here I was sitting right in the middle of this lifestyle.

What I saw (and only today realized) is a group of people who have suffered, struggled and seen more than I could ever have. People who have lost their families, their children, everything to drugs, to their bad choices and walking down a path God never wanted to His children. A group of people who have suffered more than I have. Who have felt more pain that I have. People I can safely say who have had it worse than I have. Who despite their pain, their suffering and their hardships, are clinging to God in a way I never have. In this mistake of going to the wrong church, I learned something I may not have learned had I made it to the right church. (How many Trinity churches can there be in one town....at least 4 in ours). These people are clinging to God, clinging to the hope He provides us. They are not just there listening to a sermon preached to them by a pastor, they are clinging to God, they are holding on to him for dear life. They are there, they are present and they are not afraid to say their faith is in God.

God revealed to me that I am a little stuck up and slightly judgmental. He also reveled to me that I need to cling to Him, to put my faith in Him. I trust God, My Faith is in Him, my Hope is in Him, but I tend to keep Him at arms length. Something else that has been revealed to me through this bible study.

What is God trying to reveal to you that you are missing?

Until the Next Scribble.....

Faith Realizations

I can honestly say that on the day I took my vows, I never saw myself as as a single mother, let alone a single mother without help from their father. I never saw him as the man I see him as now. Never knew how much I could love a person and then hate them just as much. I never wanted to hurt someone as much as I wanted to hurt this person that I loved more than anything. Ever been there? Divorce is a scary place. It shows you a side of yourself that even you never realized was there. I kept asking why God did this to our family, to our marriage.

He didn't. We did. Satan sent people to steal, kill and destroy, and we let these people destroy not only our marriage, but our the home our children felt safe and secure in. Where they felt loved and protected. We took the very foundation of their lives away and for what? For nothing. I can't speak for my ex-husband and I won't try. I am sure he has justified his mistakes and his part in taking away this security from our children. I know he fights his own battles with how we ended our marriage. 

I was young when I got married and I can honestly say I didn't know the first thing about commitment and marriage. About the sacrifices that came with home and family. I am a pretty good mom, and I love my children. I loved my husband, (something I never truly admit, because then I would have to admit to the hurt that came along with what he did). I look at my children and I wonder, who would they be today, had I fought harder for my marriage. Had we taken the time to realize that divorce had never been apart of God's plan for our family. Would they be the same as they are today and honestly I can say No, they wouldn't be. In a sense we broke them, and the sad part is, he doesn't even realize this. They have hurt, anger, bitterness and emotional scars they would not have and it is our fault. Not my fault, not his fault, but ours jointly. We broke the very people we promised to love, protect and keep from harm. 

This was not God's plan for our lives. 

Being a single mom is hard. It sucks. It was never the way it was meant to be. There are times when I want to yell and scream at God for allowing this to happen. For not stopping these people from interfering. When I look back, I blamed only one person and while her part is big, and she alone has to deal with God for her part in my broken family, we do too. We have to admit we gave up, instead of remembering that we promised to love, honor and cherish one another. We promised for better or worse and when worse came, we bailed. I distinctly remember God telling me to fight for my marriage, but I didn't know how. I didn't have the strength to fight and I failed to remember that God is my strength. 

Satan won this battle and we let him. We gave him the tools to do it and he had a field day. 

So what does this have to do with anything? Simple. Faith. I didn't have faith that God would heal what was damaged. I didn't have faith that God would give me the strength to fight for my marriage. My faith was lacking, big time. Not only was my faith lacking, but I gave in the lies and doubts that Satan was telling me. If I could go back, I would. Not just for my children, who deserved to have a mother who would fight for their family, not just her marriage, but for their home; but to undo all the ugliness of that time. To unsay all the hurtful things I said. You see, when I fell hurt or threatened, I attack and not in a nice way. I will aim for where I know it will hurt the most, I will then twist it until it hurts even more and that is what I did. 

Today I look back and realize just how much I had to have hurt this person who once was my life. How much I destroyed the person I loved. We both did this to each other. I gave in to my hurt, my anger, my bitterness and my children paid the ultimate price of that. No, I am not solely to blame, but I can own my part in it. 

What I realize today is God never left us. He never abandoned us and left us to our devices, we just ignored him. We let our worldly views cloud our spiritual ones. What I have learned through this difficult process of being a single mom and completely on my own raising these children, is that I am stronger than I give myself credit for, but I am only strong because my strength, (even when I didn't acknowledge it) comes from God. Phillipians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I can be a single mother. I can raise my kids on my own. I can make a way, where this no way, because it is not me doing it, it is God. He makes the way where there is no way. He gives me the strength to get through each day. 

Someday I may get married again....(there was a time when I wanted absolutely nothing to do with marriage again), and I can take what I have learned with me. However, I will fail again if I don't put God first in the next marriage. God has to come first. God need to be first. When we set our sights on Him, there is nothing we can't overcome. Satan can't destroy a foundation that is built on God's word, God's love and God's promises. I have learned so much about myself and my walk with God in the last little while. I can only pray that one day, I will be the woman God wants me to be. I can say this, I am not going back to the person I had become after my divorce...More on that later! Now its time to get ready and spend the day with my Little Man, to celebrate the miracle of his life...a.k.a his birthday!!! :) 

Until the next Scribble........

Country Life

Matthew 6:26-34 - Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? So don;t worry about these things saying, 'What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?' These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously and He will give you everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will brings its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today. (NLT)

What do the sounds of roosters crowing, (do roosters crow?), the smell of dirt and manure, and the sight of barns have in common? Country Life of course. Most of you readers know that I am a self-proclaimed city girl. I preferred the sight of buildings, the crowds of eclectic people walking about their busy lives and even the sirens signaling that something is not quite kosher somewhere in the city. The sights and sounds of life happening everywhere you look and even where you don't look. 

So what is it about being in the country that makes one want to start a garden, make jelly and other various canning items and for kids to want to have cows and chickens? The view is very different from the city views I have preferred. 

Our Barn....yup there is a barn! :) 

This view is from the walk M and I took yesterday! It was literally the first gorgeous day we have had since arriving in Oregon. Most days have been foggy and dreary and then rainy and gloomy. Being here makes me want to do things I have never wanted to do before. Hiking, something I have kind of wanted to do, but never really gotten into. Bugs, poison oak, creepy crawly things and so on have prevented me from becoming much of an outdoors girl and yet, living in the country makes me want to do all of them. 

Seriously I want to plant a garden, grow herbs (the legal kind, the ones you cook with, not the kind that I know came to mind), and can. I want to make soaps, and candles, and homemade everything! You all know how much I love to cook (at least I think you do?!) and I just want to spend my days in the kitchen creating and feeding my kids. Weird, right? 

M on our walk yesterday! 

Even waking up early and reading my bible is more enjoyable. Delving into the word and being close to God gets easier each day. I love my prayer time and learning more about myself and my walk with God. It is so easy to see God in everything around me. The wild flowers that He made beautiful, the birds that He feeds and He created. The mountains and the trees and all the life that is actually happening and all without sirens! 

Yesterday during our walk A, who rode his bike way ahead of us, cam back to tell M that there were fireman at his school and I actually felt safe letting them walk to the school without me! M had a blast  and came home to tell me all about how they let him on the truck and he got to see the inside of the fire truck and they told them about the training and even invited them to the fire station anytime they wanted to go! M is ecstatic. I guess we will need to make cookies and bring them to the fire station so M can visit a fire station! 

The path may be rocky and narrow, but if
it is a God created path, then it is
the right path. 

We have entered a whole new phase of life for our family and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us. Being here is like seeing Matthew 6:24-34 in real time, not just in word form. He does provide for the flowers of the field, for the birds and animals that roam the ground and the sky. He provides for them and they don't worry about a thing! So why should we? Being out here you can see this verse come to life! 

I am on a new path, creating new memories and creating stability for my children. (Finding a job will totally help with that). This path is not always clear, it is rocky and appears to be narrow and going nowhere. It is a struggle sometimes to put one foot in front of the next and go on, but as sure as I am sitting here, I know that God will provide. I many not like this situation very much, but I love and trust God and I know He is here guiding the path. 

Now, seriously, I need to consider this garden idea and figure out where to put my herb garden that I must have! (I had on in Cali too!) I love herbs and every cook needs an herb garden! :) Life is full of surprises! Keep you faith, turn to God and nothing is impossible! 

Until the next Scribble.........

P.S. The fog is back and it is thick as molasses!!! :) 

Ready....Set....G....

Ready....Set....G....

     You are all set. You know the plan in your head, and you have everything ready to go, but the moment it is time to go, something stops you. Suddenly that well thought out plan doesn't seem so well thought out. Your not sure the details are right, you're not sure that everything will work out. You sit down and question all the decisions you made that led you to this door. This door that suddenly you can't open. 

     I know this feeling. I know it all to well and I can tell you that, this kind of thinking will get you no where fast. Fear. This is what stops you and fear is not of God, it is from satan. I had things ready, I was set to go and the kids were even on board with this move and suddenly I couldn't do it. What had seemed like a sure thing, a good thing and the best thing, suddenly seemed like the worst thing. I couldn't do it. All these doubts started creeping in. What if I can't do it? What if I fail? What if...what if...what if... The moment I started to doubt, everything fell apart. I didn't know and I wasn't sure. I didn't trust God to provide. 

     Romans 8:28 says, "and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." God is our provider and we need to trust in Him and know that He is for us not against us. He wants us to succeed and to prosper. Not to fail, Satan wants us to fail. As a certain preacher I know says in his testimony (it is amazing and everyone should hear it), "Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy". This is satan's plan for us not God's. 

    The other night during a weekly movie night with this certain preacher, we were watching the Giver and I made a comment about how the person's view was a little pessimistic and this certain

preacher looked at me and asked how often I was optimistic. This certain preacher knows me pretty well. Honestly I am more optimistic than I let on, and this was my reply. We need to be inwardly and outwardly optimistic, but we also need to know when God is telling us to go and when he is telling us to sit still.

    Psalms 37:5 says, "commit everything you do to the Lord and He will help you." Amen! The biggest thing we need and it only needs to come in the smallest form; a mustard seed, is faith. Jesus said in Matthew 17:20, "You don't have enough faith. I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." Do you have mustard seed faith? I know this something I struggle with daily. I know in my head, God can move mountains, and He will provide and He can provide, I need to cement it in my heart too. 

     My prayer for today is for God to help me with my faith. I don't need proof He exists, I know He does. I see Him every time I look at my children. In the rain that falls and in the sun that shines. I see Him in the smile of the homeless lady I give a Starbucks coffee and Santa cookie too every year. (I only ever see her at Christmas time). I seem Him in a certain preacher when he smiles. I know in my mind and my heart that God exists, now I need to know in my heart that He will provide the way and the means, even if I can't see them. 

Ready....Set....Go!

     There may be a lot of unknowns, but I know that with God I can do this. I can make this move and everything, even a certain preacher, will fall into place in God's time. I may not know what the future holds for me, I may not see the exact ways it will all fall into place, but my Faith in Him will make it happen. God will make it all work out for His glory.  So I say to you, GO! Don't hesitate like I did. I am not hesitating this time! We are going and God will provide for us! This I know in my heart and in my mind.

Until the next Scribble.....

This blog...and more...Enjoy!

I have spent a lot of time thinking about this blog and the direction that I wanted it to go. What did I want to use it for, and then I was sitting in church this week and the pastor was talking about Hope (the next two weeks will be faith and love). While listening to this sermon, I kept thinking that I need to use this blog for more than just witty and whimsical posts about my family. I will still post those, but we need more God in our lives. Not just on Sunday, where we get dressed up for church, and sit through the sermon, greet friends and new comers and then go home. We need God Monday - Saturday as well. So this blog, while still about the struggles of being a single mom and the day to day amazement my children bring me, I am directing it  towards God and his work in our lives. I also thought about what Faith, Hope and Love meant to me. So I will be working on a blog that deals with these. Especially since Friday, when all our hearts were broken when an armed man, (I am not using the name of the gunman on purpose) came into a school and wreaked havoc on the lives of our most innocent. I have a blog outlined (in my head) for one related to this, because as probably almost any parent here can relate to, when you hear something of this magnitude you automatically do not want to send your children to school anymore. Homeschooling sounds like a much more viable option than sending our children to school where this can happen.

So I encourage you to join the blog as a subscriber. Read this blog and tell your friends about it.  Hopefully I can do my part in spreading God's word. We need more of God and not less in this world. There are those who claim to be spreading God's word and really they are only spouting out Satan's word. Westboro Church for instance who protest military funerals and who know want to protest at the funerals of these innocent children and brave teachers. God did not use an armed gunman to brutally murder and terrify children and teachers to seek vengeance on this world for gay marriage, or for any other horrible sin this church feels that society is making. Our God might be a jealous God, he mourns for those who do not follow Him, he does not kill them in His name and he certainly does not take vengeance out on innocent children who can't possibly know or understand any of this. Shame on this so-called church for intruding and possibly intruding on these funerals where parents are mourning the death of their child, or their loved one who so bravely protected these students to the best of their ability. I can't watch the news anymore, it is heartbreaking and even Morgan Freeman had a valid point, that by watching and retaining the name of the killer we are validating him in a small way. He pointed out that what is remembered in these kinds of tragedies is the name of the killer and not the victims. It is the victims that matter here, not the murderer. It doesn't matter how many were killed, whether or not this is the worst or close to the worst school shooting tragedy, simply because one is not more tragic than another. All are tragic, senseless and something that we will never understand.

Pray today for these families. Pray that God brings them some amount of healing and comfort. Their hearts are broken and their lives are forever changed. Only God can bring peace, healing and comfort for those mourning their loved ones.

As a parent I can't imagine my 5 year old not coming home from school to share with me his excitement over his day and that he got a green note today or being good. Or my 12 year old who may not always have a good day, but does try to find something good in her day, and who loves to tell me about her day after school. My 13 year who has a rough day at school most of the time, but still has a loving heart. My 14 year old and first born, who I have watched grow up into an amazingly independent individual. These children, a gift from God, are the joys of my life, they aggravate me, they frustrate and anger me better than anyone else can with their petty fights and senseless torture of one another, but they also bring me joy and wonder. I am constantly amazed at each of them and the things they come up with. If one of them did not come home, my world would be truly broken. Saturday I woke up to these little one's fighting and I started to yell at them, and then I stopped and thanked God that they were still here to argue with one another. I did ask them to stop and directed them to better and more productive activities. We need to thank God each and every day for our precious gifts. We need to put Him first in our lives.

Until the next Scribble.....