Straight Ahead

Why do we continually look backwards? Are we looking for clues that we missed? For signs that we didn't do something that we should have? Perhaps there is something we are looking for that gives us hope for the future? Whatever it is, there nothing in the past that we need today. The answers we seek, we are not going to find by continually revisiting stuff that we have already gone through. Yes we learned lessons as we went through these lessons life threw at us, but what we learned we take with us.

I was reminded today, that there is nothing in my past that is worth revisiting. It only causes us pain and heartache. It leaves us feeling lethargic and longing for something we didn't need then and we certainly do not need now. The past recently knocked on my door and for a moment my heart wanted to say what my brain was telling me wasn't real anymore. I knew before the knock that what I left behind was to stay behind, but for a brief moment, I wanted that time back. For a brief second, I wanted to erase the pain I felt these last few months and the heartache that I had endured for a few months.

Let me tell you something ladies, Satan tries to keep us in the past instead of where we should be looking...straight ahead. Yes, some of the lessons hurt, but God will lead us through the hurt into a better tomorrow. I struggled with a decision, I wrote in my journal: "Satan will NOT win this". I told a friend no to his visit, and then the next thing I know, yesterday was knocking on my door. Yesterday, that I had thought about constantly for months, but had not seen or heard from.

Isaiah 43:18 - But forget all that - it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. 

Amen! God will do bigger and better things in our future, He is done with our past! We don't need to dwell on our past. We don't need to revisit something (or someone) which will only bring us heartache and sorrow. Learn from the past, but don't dwell in it. Look straight ahead to the future God is promising you, if you will only follow Him. Trust Him to lead you where you need to be and not where you wish you had been. Don't chase a past that will go nowhere and has already gone nowhere.

Proverbs 4:25-27 - Look straight ahead and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don't get side tracked; keep your feet from following evil.

Does it get any clearer than that? Is dwelling in the past evil? I can tell you this, it is not good and what is not good, does not come from God. What is in the past is heartache, lessons already learned, doors that were closed and locked and this is all stuff that comes from Satan trying to prove us wrong. He wants us to believe that we need those doors unlocked in order to prevent God from working his will in our lives. Don't let Satan unlock a door you have already closed. Leave it closed and leave it in the past, where it belongs. Look straight ahead, stay on that path that has been marked for you by a God who loves you and who only wants what is best for you. Don't let the past sidetrack you from the brighter and better future. Lean on God. Trust in God and for your own benefit, follow God!

Until the next Scribble....

The Family Dinner Table

I love setting the table. Finding the right table cloth (if needed), place mats, dishes, glasses and even creating theme dinners with my kids. (Something I have not done in a long time). There is something so profound about cooking a meal, sitting at the table with your family and having a conversation about the days events, or whatever you all feel like talking about. It is a peaceful way to end the day.

The family dinner table is symbolic, I think. It shows that family comes first and this table will hold so many memories in the future. It saddens me when I think of how many family dinners we have missed since I got divorced and it no longer seemed important. What I am realizing is that it is important. Family is the most important and I have a renewed sense of this importance. The family dinner table has become my new focus. I am spending insane amounts of time on Pinterest looking for the perfect table idea. There are some many styles, ideas and concepts surrounding tables that it is hard to choose just one.

I want one that is special to my family. I want one that will last and that possibly my grandchildren will sit at. It has to be perfect to me. Perhaps it something I will have to make, or perhaps I will find it somewhere. All I know is that in today's messed up world we need to make the family unit more important that it has been. We need to surround ourselves in ea
ch other and make our children know that time with them is important and that we need them too.

Good meal and your favorite people! 

We need to make this a priority. We need to. The dinner table is a time to reflect and have conversation. No cell phones, no television, no electronics what-so-ever, should be present. Just good ol' conversation and people. This has been on my mind a lot lately (Hence he need to write this blog). I just see so much awful stuff on the news and it breaks my heart. We don't know how much time we have with each other, but it is time that counts. We need to put family at the top of our priority list, not at the bottom. Our kids are growing up, and when they are gone I want them to know that they are loved and to have these precious memories (even though I am sure they are going to fight me on this) of us eating together and being together as a family. I feel so disconnected from my children lately, with all the each of us have going on and I want that to change.

It all starts with one of these and go from there!

Let's bring the fun back to dinner and eating. Make theme dinner nights, say grace, read a bible scripture, have fun with it. I am going to post this blog every Tuesday. Each blog I write on Tuesday (or at least the main one) will be in regards to the Family Dinner Table. New ideas, maybe new kid friendly recipes etc... I am also going to post this on my other blog Simply Chic, because I do believe this is important and God is telling me to put my family first and to come back to the table.

I know that it is unrealistic to make it an every night thing, but I am going to make it a priority and Sunday nights are going to be mandatory family dinner together night. I will work on making more nights, but this is a first start. Sundays in this family are going to be about family.

Married at First Sight

     We have all done the dating thing at one point or another. We have gone out for coffee, signed up for dating sites and planned dinners out. We take great pains picking out what we are going to wear and what we are going to do with our hair, how our make-up is going to look and then we head out the door only to be stood up or disappointed. 

     Finding that one person who is only meant for you is ridiculously hard. In fact it makes painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel look easy. If we do start to date someone, it is so easy to give up on someone we should probably stay with. "I didn't like what she said", (or in some cases didn't say), "He never puts the toilet seat down" and the excuses go on. Who likes anyone 100% of the time? Uh, that would be no one. Breaking up is so easy to do and commitment, real commitment takes work and effort on both sides. Even marriage is not sacred in our society anymore. Get married, try it out and if you don't like it get divorced. Then comes the television series, Married at First Sight. 

     I admit that at first I was a bit skeptical of the show. I watched it because from a psychological point of view the idea interested me. We have all heard about arranged marriages in other countries and they are popular in some cultures. To have this idea in America seemed a bit odd and intriguing to me. I pictured a bunch of desperate people wanting to find love so badly that they would do anything to find it. I can relate in some ways. Dating sucks. 

     What I found was interesting. The show did not make a mockery of marriage, like a lot of people thought it would. Personality tests and other questionnaires were used in order to match the couples up with one another. They didn't just throw random people together in order to make a show. They took their time and made sure that the people they were putting together were right for each other. 

     David Hinckley writes on the New York Daily News, stated, "human relationships are rarely something you can quantify on paper. Sorry. You just can’t." I would agree with him to some extent. Science and psychology are not enough to make a marriage or a relationship work. What I do believe though, is that with this new perspective on marriage, one might commit to working at something if they have to. While the show does give the option for divorce, I watched three couples try to make something where a few days ago there was nothing, not even a name. They struggled with their issues, emotions and pasts. 

     Jamie and Doug had the most to overcome. Jaime who thought she was ready for this, realized on her wedding day that she was scared and she was not attracted to Doug. She shows us that if you are willing to commit to making something work, you can succeed. She teaches us that marriage is worth fighting for, even when you don't know the person that well. (Let's face it, do we really know the person we are marrying after dating them for years?) This couple as overcame and had the hardest amount of work to do. I also like that Jaime didn't just jump in and have sex with her husband, though she could have, she waited until she was sure she was in this forever. In fact when I was watching the finale and Jaime said she was staying, I yelled, "YES" at the top of my lungs and literally fell off the couch! I was sure she was gone. 

     Monet and Von proved to us that this won't work for everyone. Monet realized that she was more independent that she originally thought and while she wants to be married, she was the kind of wife that Von was looking for. He wanted the traditional marriage (I can relate that is the same type of marriage I am looking for). Women come in all different shapes and sizes and even thinking. Not everyone wants a traditional marriage, even though many think they do at first. I give her a lot of credit for learning more about who she is and what she wants. I give Von credit too. It takes a lot to admit that maybe you didn't put your whole self into it and to know what you want. They were a cute couple though, I will give you that. 

     Courtney and Jason are simply adorable. They had the least amount of work, because they hit it off so well. This is not to say that they didn't work for it. Courtney fought for her man, something we should all do. She committed herself to this marriage and she was in it for the long haul. I knew this couple would stay together. They have a long road ahead of them as all couples do, but I think that this couple is together to stay. 

     Would I do this? I think I would, if I didn't have 4 children. I think having children in this process would make things a bit more difficult, on the other hand if both sides had children, it might make it even more worth fighting for. Dating brings out to many fake sides of each other and sometimes reality does not hit until you are married. You think, "woah who is this monster I married and what happened to the roses and the sweet little things they did?" In this experiment they got it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. There was no hiding it. 

     Here is the bottom line of my opinion, (I would love to do more research on the psychological and scientific aspect of this concept). If you are willing to put in the time, amazingly amount of hard work, and be open and honest with not only the other person, but yourself, then you can make it work, whether you have dated for years, a day or met at the alter. This show gives us a new perspective on marriage and relationships and it proves that nothing will work if the people in it are not in it for the long haul. 

     For me personally, I want a marriage that honors both people committed to it and one that honors God. Marriage is a commitment and a sacrifice. It is putting the needs of the one you love above yours at times and it is being there for better or worse. It is remembering the promise you made to each other to be there in the good times and the bad, to hold each others hand even if you don't always feel like it. It is knowing that no matter what happens, you have someone there who loves you and is going through this with you. At the end of the day I want someone who will pray with me, read the bible with me and know that I am not perfect and I am going to make mistakes, but who is willing to stay anyway. That is what marriage is. 
     

Lets Talk Nudity, Hacking and Privacy....

Okay ladies (and even men),

Over the past few days the news has been talking about nude photos celebrities had on their cloud (what is the cloud anyway? Does anyone really know?) that have been hacked into and published. Is this news? Yes, because Apple's cloud network has been hacked into and that is a security risk for millions of people who store information and pictures on there. Is it news because celebrities are having their nude photos sold? Maybe.

Here is my take on this:

If you don't want your pictures to get leaked, then don't put them on your computer, cloud drive, hard drive, USB stick or even leave them on the SD card in your phone or camera. Better yet....don't take them! If you don't take them, they can't get publicized. Easy Peasy! Celebrities already know they are targets for this kind of stuff, so why put it out there where it can get hacked into? Like Miley Cyrus and her twerking...just don't do it!

Now ladies, the female body is amazing is capable of amazing and beautiful things...such as child birth, but it is not meant to be shown off to the public. In this case they didn't mean for the public or anyone else's eyes to see these, but in today's world of technology, cyber hacking and identity theft, one should know not to put these kinds of things on their cloud.

Today we lack morality. We feel that sex is free to give to anyone and everyone. Showing off our bodies nude, or in provocative poses is not only okay is expected and seen as being proud of one's body. Let me tell you what, you can be proud of your body and keep your clothes on! You can be sexy and still be covered up. In fact ladies, the more left to the imagination, the better. I have even been told by guys that a girl who respects herself and keeps herself covered is a lot sexier than showing off your nude body.

Can you take sexy photos for your spouse? Absolutely, but perhaps keep private areas covered, especially if you are going to store them on your computer or heaven forbid your cloud! Personally I wouldn't want any naked photos of myself floating around my home, computer, phone or cyberspace, but hey that is just me. No photos, no opportunities for anyone to find them.

Here is the next issue, privacy should be respected and boundaries shouldn't be crossed. I know that there are those that feel celebrities have no right to privacy, but they would be wrong. Everyone has a right to privacy in their own private lives. They get to choose what parts of their lives they want to make public, not hackers who feel it is their own right to invade the privacy of others and post personal pictures for all to see or even to sell. This is stealing and you are selling illegal gained property that is not yours to sell. For whoever is going to end up buying these photos, you are buying stolen property, which in my opinion should be a felony (and I am pretty sure this is, but I'd have to look it up to be sure) and they should get the maximum time in prison. Not only did they steal property that didn't belong to them, they invaded the privacy of others and hacked into a corporations cloud. (I know sounds silly right, hacking into a cloud?)

Ask yourself the next time you decide you want to take nude photos, do you want anyone to potentially see them? If the answer is no, then don't do it! Simple. If you want to take them, keep them between you and your spouse, do it on a camera and delete them...:)