Pre-Marriage Prayer....

Praying for your marriage is something we all consider. The person who stands next to us day in and day out, who never gives up, even when they are angry is someone we know we need to pray for. Praying for God's grace and presence over your marriage should not even be a second or third thought, it should be your first thought in the morning and your last thought at night. Even something you do together.

What about before you are married? We don't think about praying over our marriages before they happen and yet it dawned on me today, that this is what I need to do. This is exactly what I need to do. I was writing verses in my journal regarding someone close to me, and it dawned on me that I can't fight for this person in this world, I need to fight for this person in the spiritual world. On my knees. I need to pray day in and day out. 

It is a crazy thing, when everyone is looks at me and wonders why I even bother. Let me tell you why, I bother, it is quite simple actually, God tells me to keep fighting. Coming from someone who was once married, I don't know the first thing about fighting for someone, because I know I didn't fight nearly hard enough for my marriage. I gave a halfhearted attempt at fighting for my ex, but nothing like I am doing now. 

Matthew 19:6 - Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. Matthew is talking about marriage here, vows that two people took in front of God when they became man and wife. So why am I quoting it here? Have you considered praying this over your future spouse? Probably not. Yet, this verse, when I look at it with the eyes of a woman fighting for the one she loves, I see how praying this over this man is the best thing I can do, on my knees, fighting for him in the spiritual world. 

I remember my grandma and even more recently my aunt, telling me that to pray over something is to give it wholly to God. To let God be in control and that is a bond no man or woman can break. Do not mistake me for someone who easily hands over control of things in her life, I don't. This does not come easy for me, but I know I can't do it on my own. Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we don't have to for God is our strength and with Him, we can do all things. So praying for this man, is the only thing I can do. It is the only way I know to fight for him. 

For those of you that know me personally and know who I am talking about, you would think that this something that should hit the man over the head. He is after all a man of God, yet even men of God struggle in some areas in their life and he is struggling. I see it. I hear it. I feel it. Crazy right? No. God driven. 

We need to speak these verses into our life, and into our relationship (you know that one that God has planned for us). This man, he is fight feelings, strong ones, of rage, bitterness and anger. I won't get into all of that here, those that need to know, know and are praying. I am praying. What this is about though is praying for marriages that God has planned, but we are not aware of. Trust me, today when this realization hit me, I was in awe. Why should I pray for my relationship with this idiot, I asked. (yes I used idiot). He is not praying for this. Why should I fight, why should I pray for something he doesn't even realize fully that he wants? 

The other day I wrote a twitter message that said, "While I struggle w/what to do, #God has revealed something vital I have missed focusing on my desires & not on Him #walkinfath #p31obs" This was written on May 15. What is the realization that missed? That no matter how much he fights with himself in regards to being in my life, he has stayed. No matter how many tries he has tried to talk himself out of being here, He is still here. In his heart he knows where he belongs, but in him mind, in that tiny place we all have that wants to be defiant, he is scared. 

Did you know that Satan uses our fears? He does. He loves them. They are our insecurities, that little voice that tells us we are not good enough, that we don't deserve to be happy and on and on this annoying voice goes....Tell it to stop already! I did, and when I did, God hit me with this realization that I am where God wants me and that is enough for me. We need to pray for our future relationships. This is the person that is going to be with us forever. The person that we are going to do this thing called life with. God has to be in that! It will never work without Him in it. 

Here are some verses that I wrote in my journal: 

Proverbs 16:3 - Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed. Why this one? Every action we make leads us up to the end goal. Every action needs to be a God honoring action. By praying for this relationship, my actions honor God. The idiot may need more time to realize what I have, but in the mean time, with God, I am strong enough to fight for us without him. God will succeed where He is asked to help, God will succeed in His plans for our life, if we let Him in and have Faith. 

Song of Songs 7: 10 - I am my loves and he claims me as his own. Your right, verbally he has not. Even mentally he may not be there, but spiritually he knows. I have spent countless hours talking myself out of it. Telling myself that this is not what God wants, it can't be, because it is too hard. At times too painful. Wake up, God didn't promise easy and He didn't promise a hurt  free existent. I am fighting a worldly view and Satan, neither which I could do on my own. I need God. I

I am still in the process of finding more to use in this spiritual battle. Trust me, I argue with God regarding this man daily. In my journal along with these verses, I let him go. I gave my dream, and my heart to God. I let it go. How is this fighting if I am giving up? Oh ye of little faith, I am not giving up, I am giving it to God. God has it. I am trusting Him in this situation. I am praying. 

My next question was, "What if he doesn't come around to our way of thinking Lord". God gave us free will. He face us the choice to choose Him over all and he is giving this man the choice to choose what God has planned. I pray day in and day out for him, not just in the issue of a future relationship, but for the personal demons he has to fight. Satan wants nothing more than for him to sink into anger over previous relationships, over all that he has been through and continues to go through. 

This praying over my future marriage is not just for him, because he has the right not to choose this, even though I know in my heart (thanks to countless arguments with God over this) that he is the one. Does God do back up plans? He does, because we are so messy and human that we constantly mess up His plans for us and miss the first one. We marry the wrong people, I certainly did. We choose the wrong path, I have many times. We lose our way and while He will still fulfill His plan for us, He may have to work with the mess we made. 

This is hard for me to write because it makes me vulnerable. I don't know if he reads my blog, but if he does, I have just made myself extremely vulnerable. Yet I am writing this, not for me, but so that you know, those of you reading this, that you have to pray not just for marriage when or if it happens, but before it happens. Pray for it, bleed the blood over it, do whatever it takes. This doesn't guarantee an easy marriage, (what marriage is easy?), it doesn't guarantee a perfect marriage, but one built on the foundation of prayer and God's word is one that will work. One that will stay together regardless of the obstacles because you prayed God into it before it happened. Of course, once you are married you still have to pray God into it, you have build a foundation on His word, and you still have fight the evils of this world. What are you waiting for? Start praying! 

Until the Next Scribble...............

Faith Realizations

I can honestly say that on the day I took my vows, I never saw myself as as a single mother, let alone a single mother without help from their father. I never saw him as the man I see him as now. Never knew how much I could love a person and then hate them just as much. I never wanted to hurt someone as much as I wanted to hurt this person that I loved more than anything. Ever been there? Divorce is a scary place. It shows you a side of yourself that even you never realized was there. I kept asking why God did this to our family, to our marriage.

He didn't. We did. Satan sent people to steal, kill and destroy, and we let these people destroy not only our marriage, but our the home our children felt safe and secure in. Where they felt loved and protected. We took the very foundation of their lives away and for what? For nothing. I can't speak for my ex-husband and I won't try. I am sure he has justified his mistakes and his part in taking away this security from our children. I know he fights his own battles with how we ended our marriage. 

I was young when I got married and I can honestly say I didn't know the first thing about commitment and marriage. About the sacrifices that came with home and family. I am a pretty good mom, and I love my children. I loved my husband, (something I never truly admit, because then I would have to admit to the hurt that came along with what he did). I look at my children and I wonder, who would they be today, had I fought harder for my marriage. Had we taken the time to realize that divorce had never been apart of God's plan for our family. Would they be the same as they are today and honestly I can say No, they wouldn't be. In a sense we broke them, and the sad part is, he doesn't even realize this. They have hurt, anger, bitterness and emotional scars they would not have and it is our fault. Not my fault, not his fault, but ours jointly. We broke the very people we promised to love, protect and keep from harm. 

This was not God's plan for our lives. 

Being a single mom is hard. It sucks. It was never the way it was meant to be. There are times when I want to yell and scream at God for allowing this to happen. For not stopping these people from interfering. When I look back, I blamed only one person and while her part is big, and she alone has to deal with God for her part in my broken family, we do too. We have to admit we gave up, instead of remembering that we promised to love, honor and cherish one another. We promised for better or worse and when worse came, we bailed. I distinctly remember God telling me to fight for my marriage, but I didn't know how. I didn't have the strength to fight and I failed to remember that God is my strength. 

Satan won this battle and we let him. We gave him the tools to do it and he had a field day. 

So what does this have to do with anything? Simple. Faith. I didn't have faith that God would heal what was damaged. I didn't have faith that God would give me the strength to fight for my marriage. My faith was lacking, big time. Not only was my faith lacking, but I gave in the lies and doubts that Satan was telling me. If I could go back, I would. Not just for my children, who deserved to have a mother who would fight for their family, not just her marriage, but for their home; but to undo all the ugliness of that time. To unsay all the hurtful things I said. You see, when I fell hurt or threatened, I attack and not in a nice way. I will aim for where I know it will hurt the most, I will then twist it until it hurts even more and that is what I did. 

Today I look back and realize just how much I had to have hurt this person who once was my life. How much I destroyed the person I loved. We both did this to each other. I gave in to my hurt, my anger, my bitterness and my children paid the ultimate price of that. No, I am not solely to blame, but I can own my part in it. 

What I realize today is God never left us. He never abandoned us and left us to our devices, we just ignored him. We let our worldly views cloud our spiritual ones. What I have learned through this difficult process of being a single mom and completely on my own raising these children, is that I am stronger than I give myself credit for, but I am only strong because my strength, (even when I didn't acknowledge it) comes from God. Phillipians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I can be a single mother. I can raise my kids on my own. I can make a way, where this no way, because it is not me doing it, it is God. He makes the way where there is no way. He gives me the strength to get through each day. 

Someday I may get married again....(there was a time when I wanted absolutely nothing to do with marriage again), and I can take what I have learned with me. However, I will fail again if I don't put God first in the next marriage. God has to come first. God need to be first. When we set our sights on Him, there is nothing we can't overcome. Satan can't destroy a foundation that is built on God's word, God's love and God's promises. I have learned so much about myself and my walk with God in the last little while. I can only pray that one day, I will be the woman God wants me to be. I can say this, I am not going back to the person I had become after my divorce...More on that later! Now its time to get ready and spend the day with my Little Man, to celebrate the miracle of his life...a.k.a his birthday!!! :) 

Until the next Scribble........

Married at First Sight

     We have all done the dating thing at one point or another. We have gone out for coffee, signed up for dating sites and planned dinners out. We take great pains picking out what we are going to wear and what we are going to do with our hair, how our make-up is going to look and then we head out the door only to be stood up or disappointed. 

     Finding that one person who is only meant for you is ridiculously hard. In fact it makes painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel look easy. If we do start to date someone, it is so easy to give up on someone we should probably stay with. "I didn't like what she said", (or in some cases didn't say), "He never puts the toilet seat down" and the excuses go on. Who likes anyone 100% of the time? Uh, that would be no one. Breaking up is so easy to do and commitment, real commitment takes work and effort on both sides. Even marriage is not sacred in our society anymore. Get married, try it out and if you don't like it get divorced. Then comes the television series, Married at First Sight. 

     I admit that at first I was a bit skeptical of the show. I watched it because from a psychological point of view the idea interested me. We have all heard about arranged marriages in other countries and they are popular in some cultures. To have this idea in America seemed a bit odd and intriguing to me. I pictured a bunch of desperate people wanting to find love so badly that they would do anything to find it. I can relate in some ways. Dating sucks. 

     What I found was interesting. The show did not make a mockery of marriage, like a lot of people thought it would. Personality tests and other questionnaires were used in order to match the couples up with one another. They didn't just throw random people together in order to make a show. They took their time and made sure that the people they were putting together were right for each other. 

     David Hinckley writes on the New York Daily News, stated, "human relationships are rarely something you can quantify on paper. Sorry. You just can’t." I would agree with him to some extent. Science and psychology are not enough to make a marriage or a relationship work. What I do believe though, is that with this new perspective on marriage, one might commit to working at something if they have to. While the show does give the option for divorce, I watched three couples try to make something where a few days ago there was nothing, not even a name. They struggled with their issues, emotions and pasts. 

     Jamie and Doug had the most to overcome. Jaime who thought she was ready for this, realized on her wedding day that she was scared and she was not attracted to Doug. She shows us that if you are willing to commit to making something work, you can succeed. She teaches us that marriage is worth fighting for, even when you don't know the person that well. (Let's face it, do we really know the person we are marrying after dating them for years?) This couple as overcame and had the hardest amount of work to do. I also like that Jaime didn't just jump in and have sex with her husband, though she could have, she waited until she was sure she was in this forever. In fact when I was watching the finale and Jaime said she was staying, I yelled, "YES" at the top of my lungs and literally fell off the couch! I was sure she was gone. 

     Monet and Von proved to us that this won't work for everyone. Monet realized that she was more independent that she originally thought and while she wants to be married, she was the kind of wife that Von was looking for. He wanted the traditional marriage (I can relate that is the same type of marriage I am looking for). Women come in all different shapes and sizes and even thinking. Not everyone wants a traditional marriage, even though many think they do at first. I give her a lot of credit for learning more about who she is and what she wants. I give Von credit too. It takes a lot to admit that maybe you didn't put your whole self into it and to know what you want. They were a cute couple though, I will give you that. 

     Courtney and Jason are simply adorable. They had the least amount of work, because they hit it off so well. This is not to say that they didn't work for it. Courtney fought for her man, something we should all do. She committed herself to this marriage and she was in it for the long haul. I knew this couple would stay together. They have a long road ahead of them as all couples do, but I think that this couple is together to stay. 

     Would I do this? I think I would, if I didn't have 4 children. I think having children in this process would make things a bit more difficult, on the other hand if both sides had children, it might make it even more worth fighting for. Dating brings out to many fake sides of each other and sometimes reality does not hit until you are married. You think, "woah who is this monster I married and what happened to the roses and the sweet little things they did?" In this experiment they got it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. There was no hiding it. 

     Here is the bottom line of my opinion, (I would love to do more research on the psychological and scientific aspect of this concept). If you are willing to put in the time, amazingly amount of hard work, and be open and honest with not only the other person, but yourself, then you can make it work, whether you have dated for years, a day or met at the alter. This show gives us a new perspective on marriage and relationships and it proves that nothing will work if the people in it are not in it for the long haul. 

     For me personally, I want a marriage that honors both people committed to it and one that honors God. Marriage is a commitment and a sacrifice. It is putting the needs of the one you love above yours at times and it is being there for better or worse. It is remembering the promise you made to each other to be there in the good times and the bad, to hold each others hand even if you don't always feel like it. It is knowing that no matter what happens, you have someone there who loves you and is going through this with you. At the end of the day I want someone who will pray with me, read the bible with me and know that I am not perfect and I am going to make mistakes, but who is willing to stay anyway. That is what marriage is. 
     

Forgiveness

As I sit here, trying to work on my presentation for class, I am stuck thinking about forgiveness. It was a conversation that got started and just decided to weave its way into my thought process, blocking all else until I sat down to write it. You know, that nagging little thought that starts out as a small pebble of information and keeps growing until you have this boulder of information that just needs to be said. I know you all know what I am talking about. :)

Forgiveness, it is the hardest thing to do. The very last thing that you want to do or give to someone who has wronged you, betrayed you, violated you, or just ticked you off. Everyday we run into people who innocently (and I say this because they in some cases they have no knowledge of their offense), cause us distress. Strangers who step on our toes by mistake, who cut in front of you in line, making you want to run them over with your cart, (nicely of course), or to bigger more traumatizing events caused by people you know, or even someone you have never met. Victims of rape have a really hard time forgiving their attacker (who they may or may not know), domestic violence sufferers, whose trust is broken and betrayed by the one person they are suppose to depend on with their life (parent, spouse or other relative), or the little girl whose best friend took her candy and ate it; all of these suffer un-forgiveness in their hearts for a time. What about divorce? We all know that no marriage or relationship is perfect, but divorce brings out the vicious and the ugly in the person we vowed to love for ever. That we promised before God to forsake all others and stay together in the good times and the bad, how do we forgive this person?

As I write this blog, I want to point out that I am not immune to anger, bitterness, or un-forgiveness...just the very opposite actually. I can hold a grudge better than a dog can hold onto his bone when someone is trying to take it, or better than a super-glued shelf to wall can stick. Its not about my ability to forgive, its not even that I forget, its that God gave me the grace to forgive.

What does un-forgiveness do? Well from personal experience I can tell you that not forgiving someone is dangerous. If you can't forgive those who trespass against you, why should God forgive you when you trespass against Him? Matthew 6:14-15 says: "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you". Who wants that?  No one.

When we don't forgive others, we don't hurt them. They don't care. I will bet you that they don't even realize they you are angry and if they do, most likely they don't care. It is not affecting them. It is eating at you, keeping you from moving on, keeping you from living and keeping you from God. It keeps you from fully being able to love someone else. It is like a prison where you are kept in by your own refusal to forgive. You have the key! Go ahead and set yourself free. Pray, God will be only to glad to help you forgive.

I am not perfect and I hold a lot of stuff in. It comes out in my writings or my more so in my poetry, which is how I usually find out its there. I am so good at hiding my feelings, I don't even know about them until I sit down to write.

Have you ever looked at someone and saw red, literally? Has the very mention of a person caused your blood pressure to rise and your heart to start beating a mile a minute? Has a person you see or have talked about make you want to cry? Or start punching them until they can't stand anymore? If the very site of or mention of a person makes you want to cause them bodily harm or causes you anxiety, your un-forgiveness has now affected your health. Also this is a sign that you need to forgive them.

Forgiveness is not easy. There is no perfect plan or timing. It is just simply something that you need to do. For you. In the words of Elsa, from Disney's, Frozen,"Let it go!" Pray, pray and pray again. I pray for my ex-husband. I do. I pray for wisdom to see what he needs to do, for his sight to return so that he can see what he is doing to the children I know he loves. I pray for understanding and patience on my part so that I am not quick to anger or to judge. I knew his heart, I no longer know it nor do I understand it. I pray that he is happy and that he does well.

I pray for others who have hurt me or wronged me. It works. I don't hate my ex, part of me will always love him. He is the father of my children, and someone I used to love unconditionally. A part of him is always with me, whenever I look at my children I see the best parts of both of us. I see him in the way K works out problems, I see him in the way she gets excited over her Robotics team. I see him in S's sympathetic (which is not as often anymore) nature towards those less fortunate than she is or who struggle with something. I see him in A's very sensitive nature and even in M who has had nothing to do with him. So in a sense holding on to my anger and not forgiving him not only hurts me, but it hurts those four beautiful and innocent children we created together. I use him as the example of my un-forgiveness, because his betrayal hurt the most, and in some ways caused the most damage.

How do you forgive? How do you forgives someone when your very core resists doing so? Don't focus on the actions the person took against you. Focus on the lessons you learned from the situation and move away from the anger. What caused the person to do what they did? You may never know, but I once read somewhere that a happy person doesn't intentionally hurt anyone, only unhappy people do. So again pray for that person, it's what God would want you to do. There is no ten step program to forgiving someone, there is no right way or wrong way.

Colossians 3-13 says: "bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complain against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you must also do."

Forgive and set it free. It doesn't mean you forget, because let's face it, its hard to forget someone pulling our braid in third grade and chasing us around the playground causing us to fall, skin our knee and cry. Besides if you know anything about psychology, you know that everything stored in your long-term memory is always there just waiting to be recalled by some little trigger such as a piece of candy similar to the one little Johnny stole from you in kindergarten. Memories are forever stuck in our mind. If you were to forget, you would not be able to learn the lesson you needed to, therefore allowing yourself to repeat the incident. So no, you don't forget, you forgive and don't dwell on the event.

What does forgiveness do for you? Oh so much my dear! It allows you to feel a calming sense of peace. To be able to love unconditionally and wholly. To see that the person who wronged you is not some vile creature that you would find in a Steven King movie, but rather just a person who has faults and weaknesses just like you do. It sets you free of bondage from anger and bitterness. It allows you to move on and find peace. Forgiveness is for you...not them.

Okay so back to school work I go.

Until the next Scribble.......

The Submissive Wife

What comes to your mind when you hear the phrase, "submissive" wife? Do you find yourself chained to the kitchen? At your husbands every beck and call? Do visions of 50 Shades of Gray scenes? I know when I first heard it, I scoffed and then laughed. There was no way, I would ever become submissive. Not to mention, you could be envisioning every feminist woman chasing after you with bats or trying to run you over with a car because you dare to undo years of women becoming equal to men.

Now before you pick up your cast iron skillet to beat me over the head and ask me if I have lost my mind, remember that the bible does tell us in Ephesians 5:22 "wives submit unto your husbands as to the Lord." The key word here is submit. Not bow down to, cater to, and have no voice or opinion.

So what does it mean? 

Today's society has warped the words submit and submissive. It has turned into something of a sexual nature with whips and chains and all things unholy and that do not belong in the bedroom. Or it has turned into something even worse...a slave to your husband and he commands you at his will to do his bidding. It has corrupted the beauty in being a submissive wife. Yes, I said beauty. 

God created marriage to be a beautiful union of two people to build a life together. TOGETHER. Someone to share the ups and downs with, someone to help you when you are feeling down. The husband is not the controller, he is the leader. He is the strength behind the family that builds their foundation on God's word. The husband "leads with strong hands", as it says in the song Lead Me, by Sanctus Real.

Submission simply means that you let go of control and let your husband lead. Let him hold your hand and guide you. It means that you listen to him and you make decisions with him. Its a relationship that is based on faith in God and faith in each other. Being submissive is trusting in your choice to make this man your husband. Trusting him as your partner in this life. 

Now here comes the bats, I do believe that the wife belongs in the home. She cares for and tends to the home. She makes it a place of warmth, love and family. She takes care of her family. The breakdown of the family and of society began when the family got put on the back burner. That is probably another blog later, but truly Proverbs 31:10-31 is the instructions for a wife and mother. It is what we as women are called to be. It is the perfect description of how we should want to be. 

I am not telling every wife and mother out there to go and quit their jobs, some of us can't. Single mother's can't for sure. I am saying that if it is feasible, do it. If it means cutting a few things out of your budget, moving to a smaller home, then isn't it worth it? Isn't spending the few short years raising your children and being home when they get out of school worth giving up a few material possessions? 

Being a submissive wife is about love, honor and respect, not bondage, chains. It doesn't mean you can't argue with your husband, personally I would rather not. It does not mean don't voice your opinion, but remind yourself that if your husband feels that something is best for the family, definitely know that it probably is. I mean, common sense here, if he is telling you to bomb and abortion clinic, you definitely might want to reconsider this and pray for him. Chances are, since your relationship is based on God's Word, he is not telling you do this. Chances are he has given it a lot of thought and prayed about it. 

I want to also point out, that while I believe the wife belongs at home, caring for the home and all that, I also believe that you can be a submissive wife and work. Not all women married or single can be stay-at-home wives/mothers. Some choose to work from home, which allows them to stop working and go pick up a sick kid from school or run a quick errand that came up. 

Your husband should be the one you look to for answers (aside from God, that is a given), he is the one you should seek comfort from. He is the one who you should comfort when he needs it. He is the one your heart belongs to. Submit to your husbands as to the Lord and I promise you, you will not regret it. 

This blog...and more...Enjoy!

I have spent a lot of time thinking about this blog and the direction that I wanted it to go. What did I want to use it for, and then I was sitting in church this week and the pastor was talking about Hope (the next two weeks will be faith and love). While listening to this sermon, I kept thinking that I need to use this blog for more than just witty and whimsical posts about my family. I will still post those, but we need more God in our lives. Not just on Sunday, where we get dressed up for church, and sit through the sermon, greet friends and new comers and then go home. We need God Monday - Saturday as well. So this blog, while still about the struggles of being a single mom and the day to day amazement my children bring me, I am directing it  towards God and his work in our lives. I also thought about what Faith, Hope and Love meant to me. So I will be working on a blog that deals with these. Especially since Friday, when all our hearts were broken when an armed man, (I am not using the name of the gunman on purpose) came into a school and wreaked havoc on the lives of our most innocent. I have a blog outlined (in my head) for one related to this, because as probably almost any parent here can relate to, when you hear something of this magnitude you automatically do not want to send your children to school anymore. Homeschooling sounds like a much more viable option than sending our children to school where this can happen.

So I encourage you to join the blog as a subscriber. Read this blog and tell your friends about it.  Hopefully I can do my part in spreading God's word. We need more of God and not less in this world. There are those who claim to be spreading God's word and really they are only spouting out Satan's word. Westboro Church for instance who protest military funerals and who know want to protest at the funerals of these innocent children and brave teachers. God did not use an armed gunman to brutally murder and terrify children and teachers to seek vengeance on this world for gay marriage, or for any other horrible sin this church feels that society is making. Our God might be a jealous God, he mourns for those who do not follow Him, he does not kill them in His name and he certainly does not take vengeance out on innocent children who can't possibly know or understand any of this. Shame on this so-called church for intruding and possibly intruding on these funerals where parents are mourning the death of their child, or their loved one who so bravely protected these students to the best of their ability. I can't watch the news anymore, it is heartbreaking and even Morgan Freeman had a valid point, that by watching and retaining the name of the killer we are validating him in a small way. He pointed out that what is remembered in these kinds of tragedies is the name of the killer and not the victims. It is the victims that matter here, not the murderer. It doesn't matter how many were killed, whether or not this is the worst or close to the worst school shooting tragedy, simply because one is not more tragic than another. All are tragic, senseless and something that we will never understand.

Pray today for these families. Pray that God brings them some amount of healing and comfort. Their hearts are broken and their lives are forever changed. Only God can bring peace, healing and comfort for those mourning their loved ones.

As a parent I can't imagine my 5 year old not coming home from school to share with me his excitement over his day and that he got a green note today or being good. Or my 12 year old who may not always have a good day, but does try to find something good in her day, and who loves to tell me about her day after school. My 13 year who has a rough day at school most of the time, but still has a loving heart. My 14 year old and first born, who I have watched grow up into an amazingly independent individual. These children, a gift from God, are the joys of my life, they aggravate me, they frustrate and anger me better than anyone else can with their petty fights and senseless torture of one another, but they also bring me joy and wonder. I am constantly amazed at each of them and the things they come up with. If one of them did not come home, my world would be truly broken. Saturday I woke up to these little one's fighting and I started to yell at them, and then I stopped and thanked God that they were still here to argue with one another. I did ask them to stop and directed them to better and more productive activities. We need to thank God each and every day for our precious gifts. We need to put Him first in our lives.

Until the next Scribble.....

To Read or Not to Read....

     So this morning, with my usually morning cup of a Java I ran into a blog a friend posted on Facebook, called Fifty Shades of No by Jill Savage. I have been on the fence regarding whether or not to read these books as everyone in every age bracket seems to be lining up to get them. I enjoy a good book as much as the next woman (or male) and a lot of the books I read have a sex scene or two in them, but these books are filled with nothing but pornography from what I can tell. Now as a single mom, I don't feel that I would be in anyway lusting after something that or someone that is not my husband, I am not married. However, the question remains do I really need to subject myself to this type of literature that even a few years ago would probably have not been on the shelf for the general public? Now when the next James Patterson novel comes out for the Alex Cross series.....
    
     When I became a parent my husband-at-the-time and I agreed that the method of do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do parenting was not how we wanted to raise our children. I fear I have back-slid on this a little and need to get back to it. Would I want my children to read these types of books? No. Jill had the right idea when she said that they lead us to unrealistic expectations of what we are suppose to look like, act like and to tell us that the immoral behavior of the characters are OK and we can behave this way and not suffer any consequences. It is time to get back to the saying: As For Me and My House We WILL Serve the Lord. I am not perfect and I sometimes do things that perhaps may not be in line with that statement, but God knows we are not perfect and he loves us anyway. Just as long as we try to live our lives God's way and keep our hearts and homes pure, we will be alright. I still have no idea the direction this blog is going to go, I only know I wanted to start getting back into writing and this was a way for me to do that.

     I realize also that we can go overboard in what is right and good for our hearts and minds, but this is one book series I don't feel compelled to read, nor do I feel that we should be reading this kind of material. It is for everyone to decide what they are going to do, what they are going to read, and for me, I am with Jill Savage on this one, Fifty Shades of NO!

Until the next scribble....