Negative thoughts...Negative comments...

You can't do it. You not good enough. Why are you participating in your children's lives? You can't. You won't.

Ever heard these before? From family members or from yourself perhaps. I am here to tell you not to listen to these. Whether they are from your family or they are from yourself, all of these come from one source...the devil. I mean would you really tell yourself any of these?

There are days that I hear these and I think, I really can't. I can see no possible way for any of this to happen, and then I remember, "I CAN do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me STRENGTH! I can, you can we all can!

I heard it when I got divorced. "Are you crazy?" "You can't raise four children on your own!" "You won't make it."

I heard it when I wanted to stay in Canada. "There is nothing for you there anymore." "You need to come home."

I hear it now when I want to do something that no one thinks I should do.

Guess what...I can do it. I will do it. The only one I need to accomplish it is God. God will show all of us the way, after all He is "the way, the truth and the life. Who is? God is. SO even if the task I am taking on seems overwhelming, I know that with God by my side I can do it and I can persevere.

Here is another truth, I am not a perfect mom, but I am a mom who loves her children and one whose idea of being a mom is to be there. Participating. Involved. I don't want to watch their lives from the sidelines, I want to be in the middle of it. I want to experience it, and I want them to know when they grow up, that they were wanted, they were loved and their mother was there for them no matter what.

I am not a perfect person, I make mistakes and I get grumpy...Lord knows I get grumpy. I don't always want to do the things I have chosen to do in my life. I don't always want to get up and start my day, but I always do. There are days I want to scream and pull all my hair out of my head.

I am not a perfect Christian. I have days when my faith falters. I have days I want to give up and go my own way. I don't always want to get up on Sunday morning and go to church. 9 am? Who wants to walk out the door at 9 am to go to church after a long week of parenting and living life? I do, because that is the service my children want to go to.

Listening to those voices, whether in your head or from others around you, will only cause you to stay where they want you...down and out. Depressed. Feeling useless. SO the next time someone tells you can't, tell them you can! YOU CAN!

I don't know about you, but I am living my life for God not for anyone else. I love aspects of my life and I am thankful for the things I am able to do. I am done listening to the negatives.

2 Corinthians 10:5 "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Remember that verse! I wrote it on an index card to tape it to my mirror. It is important to know, read and understand that if our thoughts are turned toward God, anything is possible.

Until the next Scribble....

Living in the Past...Turn your back on it...

The past is the past. We all have a past, even if you were born yesterday you have a past; yesterday was the first day of your past history (unless we count the last 9 months). I tell my children all the time, yesterday is gone, today is your chance to do better and tomorrow is unwritten.

While I was drinking my coffee yesterday I was thinking about the past. It was also the topic of Sundays sermon. I always say the past is who I am, but yesterday it dawned on me, the past is not who I am, it is who I was. The experiences I have had, the choices I have made, and the lessons that I have learned all made me the person I am today. The past is my yesterday, gone but perhaps never forgotten.

In church currently we are studying in Joshua. The series is titled: Wholehearted...living with your back to the past... One of the things that we single mom's struggle with is our past. We failed at something...marriage. The home our children knew is no longer. The question we need to ask ourselves is this: Do you want failure to keep you from moving on? Past failures can prevent us from moving on, from being the person we want to be now.

The one thing from the sermon that hit home with me (mostly because the pastor kept hitting it home in his sermon came from reading Joshua 3: 6-17. to sum up the passage, God has gone before us, he is in the midst of it with us, and he is behind us. That, to me, is a comforting feeling. He was there in my past, he is here with me today and he has gone ahead and knows what my future holds.

Today is not ideal, it is tough, yesterday was even harder and the future will most likely have its shares of up and downs. I made a decision for my family, and no I did not come by it lightly, and there seems to be no possible way for it to happen, but IF it is meant to happen, it will happen because God has made the way for it to happen, even if I can't see it. If it is not the right decision He will make that known to me.

So let's not live or dwell on the past or what could have been, lets look forward to what the future has in store. Good or bad, God is there in the midst of it with you. Our strength comes from Him. Acknowledge the little blessings in your life and look forward to the bigger ones that may come your way. Trust (not always easy for me), in God and He will provide.

Until the next Scribble....

Single moms and Church

We have all felt it, an awkward feeling, when you enter a church with your children...alone. You feel like all eyes are on you, watching you, judging you for being a single mom. Moms are certainly not suppose to be single. The stereotype image of a mom is immediately brought to the front of your mind at that moment. You know what I am talking about, that perfectly dressed, every hair in place, mom with the well behaved kids walking into church on the arm of her husband. That image is suddenly making you feel self conscious as you take your children to Sunday school, and go on to find a seat in church.
Then you look around and see all the couples, the ones with the newborn babies, the newlyweds starting life together, the parents of the children that are happily in Sunday school and the elderly couples who have survived all the ups and downs married life can bring...you know those trials your marriage failed to survive.
Or, you are that mom who was never married, and whose relationship didn't survive pregnancy and have been raising your child on your own since birth. You've never had a marriage, but you still have that feeling, that awkward horrible feeling that you don't belong here  because you don't and never had, had a husband. Your child never his/her father and most likely never will.
There are so many reasons that we end up in life as single moms (or parents), and reality is, we don't always have control over it. Divorce, one-night stands that resulted in a child, death (we truly feel this is the only legitimate reason to be a single parent) or whatever the reason is that you find yourself in the Single Mom role.
Here is the thing, no one really cares. They are not looking at you as someone who doesn't belong there. They are not judging you, (ok and even if they are who cares). We are not perfect and guess what, married or not, neither are they. If anything most are certain that whatever your circumstance, you belong there. It is the one place we can all belong. God wants us all there and every single person occupying a chair in that church is....are you are you ready for it....they are all....believe it or not...sinners! That's right, they have all sinned and will sin again in the future. I'm serious! Truly I am not kidding.
As a mom, I want my children to always feel like they belong in church, and it starts with me. DO I feel weird sitting alone? Sure. Do I feel like others are staring? Sure. Who doesn't? We are all there for the same reason, to worship God and listen to His word. So who cares what everyone else thinks, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that you are OK with who you are and where you are in life.
SO on Sunday when you walk into church, hold your head up high and find a seat and enjoy sermon.

Until the next Scribble....

Choices....

I am doing something that does not come easily for me. Trusting. I am trusting God that the decision I am making for my family is the decision that is the right one for us.

Trusting anyone, especially God is difficult for me. It certainly does not come easily for me, as I am sure it doesn't come easily for a lot of people. It is hard for me to my faith in something I have never truly seen and I am not sure that I ever completely had faith He existed. I go to church and I sit there Sunday after Sunday and I pray, I worship and that is as far as its gone.

The thing is I recently had a conversation with someone. A comment this person made, made me stop to think, "How can I pray for myself when there is a parent out there who has lost a child and needs prayer more than I do. What kind of God lets bad things happen to people?" I can't say that I haven't wondered that myself. Like a lot of people in December, as I sat there watching the news about the shooting in Connecticut I asked that very question. Not just that question but, "How can I believe in a God that allows bad and terrible things to happen,"

I'd like to say I have all the answers and the truth is I don't. What I have come to the conclusion for myself is this, prayer is not just for the people who have suffered some tragic horrific loss. It is for those who are hurting, who are suffering  certainly, but it is also for those who are trying to make the right decision. Who need guidance and reassurance. I am not saying ask God if you should by the red lamp or the blue one, but life decisions are big decisions.

If God is involved with this decision, it will work out. The things that right now seem impossible will be made possible, because:

Matthew 19:26 - But Jesus beheld [them], and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

Mark 10:27 - And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men [it is] impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.

Mark 11:24 - Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive [them], and ye shall have [them].

Luke 1:37 - For with God nothing shall be impossible.

And if these verses were not enough of a sign that God wants us to believe...wants me to believe, the last couple of times I was in the car.....question God (did I mention I am good at that too) I get hit with these two songs:

Overcomer by Mandisa, which is a new song and has yet to hit YouTube but one we should all listen to

and Promises by Sanctus Real

and  another song that makes me listen is Kari Jobe's, I Find You on My Knees.

So I will pray about my decision, and if it is meant to be then it will happen. If it is not, then I will know that too. I just know that this has been on my mind for awhile and I kept ignoring it....which could be why nothing changes here. All any of us can do, is trust God...and yet this is the hardest thing to do. Especially if what we want is not in His plan.

I know the where, I know my reason why, I just don't have the how as of yet. So if you have a choice, remember, you can pray about it. God wants us to pray about it. God listens to all prayers, just because he doesn't answer them, doesn't mean he didn't hear them.

Until the next Scribble....

Kari Jobe - Find You On My Knees