Juggling Single Motherhood

Okay, so I am going to switch things up a bit. Change is still the theme of this year, in fact, I made it my theme word for this year. This year is all about change. 

However, today was crazy. The washer is acting wonky, the kids are restless and this mommy is just tired. School work, house cleaning, getting the house in order after having moved, doing this, doing that and looking for a job and all while trying to keep my sanity and the kids alive. Vodka/Cranberry anyone? 

When I was married and had kids and was a stay-at-home mom I often wondered how single mom's did it. I had a ton of respect (and still do) for those mom's that did it all on their own. How did they get it all done? A question I often pondered. Now that I have been a single mom for many years, I can say, they don't. That and they don't sleep. When I had a husband who did all the "guy" stuff and I did all the "mom/girl" stuff, it wasn't perfect or always easy, but it was easier. The responsibilities were split in half and mom even got a girls night out on Friday's twice a month.

Single moms have to be both mom and dad. Seriously for some of us this hard to do. I know nothing about being a dad. I can't fish, hunt, or work on a car. I can't play baseball or football and I mix up whether a game has quarters or innings. With a that has to be done in a day, something is going to get left out, forgotten or undone. I just hope it is not a kid. Forgetting or losing your kids is seriously frowned upon. Have you ever lost your child for a second in a store? Did you see all those people staring at you like you were a bad mother? I know I have and I did! 

Today, I just felt like a crazy white woman trying to keep it all together, and failing. Who can do it all? No one. Even the ones that look like they have it all together and that they get nothing wrong, do mess up and they do forget things. They even lose a child in the store once in awhile. No one is perfect and no one can get it all done. I don't need vodka/cranberry, I have God. He tells me I am worth it, imperfections and all. With Him, I can do all things for He is the one who gives me strength. My help, my strength, my hope, and my will to keep going, all comes from Him. 

Most days it is a juggling act. Who needs to be where. K has Robotics, S has bowling, M has baseball, A is where? Right, E's house. Church is on Sunday's, get up get four kids ready and out the door. Did S go to H's house? Or did she go to E's house? Where can I squeeze groceries in and did I do all the assignments for school only to now have to help M with his homework. Scheduling is a nightmare with 4 active children and a mom. Drop K off at Band, Pick S up from Boys and Girls club, take A to youth group. The schedule juggling act. 

Now....

Most days I just fall into bed. I don't even always remember doing it, it just happens. Today, for example was non-stop fighting, and not listening to mom. The wonky washing machine made me throw all the clothes in the van and head to the laundromat. Killing two birds with one trip to town, when the clothes were all in the dryer we went to Walmart to get a few miscellaneous items. M was definitely bored with our outing and acted up a bit. Then of course there was the fighting and no one wanting to clean up....even after a thousand "Hey do this" from mom. It was one of those days you seriously consider selling those precious, adorable children to gypsy's. 

Well, I guess it is that time...time for this tired mom to go to bed. 

Until the next Scribble........

P.S. I totally just realized I need to shave my legs....add it to the list of things to do tomorrow!!! 

Crazy or Great Idea?

    As a single mom raising four kids, the word crazy has come up a few times. Let's face to raise four children on your own, it takes a certain amount of crazy. The craziness of life when you are a single mom can wear on a person and it seems that the is very little time for fun, vacations or even small trips. Not to mention the daily errands and running around there is when you have four kids who are active and busy. I love it though. I wouldn't change a whole lot.
    Their dad lives across the country and recently I decided that it would be a good idea to move to Maine, (where their dad lives). They need their dad, just as much as they need me and it is obvious to me as the days move on. He is missing out on so much of their lives and they are missing out on his. Divorce,
sometimes sucks and our children are the ones who end up suffering for it. So what is my bright (or to some, crazy) idea? To drive across the country with them. Yes I said drive across the country with 4 children. Insane I know.
     Call me crazy, but I love my children and I love spending time with them. Yes, they fight and they aggravate me, but they are still mine and they are still interesting, each in their own right. Being a single mom it is tough to schedule family time with mom being in school, kids having various sports and after school activities and just the daily grind of every day life.
    For me I see this as an opportunity to spend quality time as a family while seeing various parts of our country. Obviously we will have to stop and A wants a souvenir from every state we go through. What a great way to spend a part of our summer while spending time together.
    This will totally take a lot of planning, research and budgeting, but I think it will be quite the adventure and Oh so much fun. So for the next little while I have decided that this blog will be about the planning and the trip to Maine...who knows maybe I won't like it and we will come back, but at least they will get to see their dad! I will also be researching vans and SUV's that are able to carry a family of 5 comfortably across the country and still not be a gas guzzler. You let me know, is traveling across the country a crazy idea or a brilliant idea?

Until the next scribble....

Let Them Be Little

I was listening to the news yesterday and the Dj's were talking about a school in New york, that decided to not do their annual kindergarten program. What parent does not like going to their child's school and watching them sing, dance, and be cute. So why cancel something that teaches the children to get up in front of an audience and perform? Why cancel something that allows children to have fun while learning to memorize lines and songs?

The reason is....

Are you ready?

They decided it was more important to focus on studying and become college and career ready rather than have a kindergarten performance! Seriously?! As a parent, I have watched my children do kindergarten (and other grades) performances and it has not changed their minds of wanting to ballerinas, fireman, police, astronauts, or spider-man when they grow up. I have been annoyed with the education system for awhile, for my own reasons. For example when M was in kindergarten they expected children to color in the lines, and do realistic coloring. Are you kidding me? Who hasn't colored an apple blue? Hair purple? (For M this was realistic as his sister K had purple hair). They changed printing from block letters to pre-cursive writing so the letters now HAVE to have a little kick on then end. Really? Like I told his teacher, I am happy if he can just write the letters. Who expects perfection out of kindergartners? There is too much expectation out of our preschoolers and kindergartners.

I am all for education and learning. I love learning. The problem is that school is taking the fun out of education and being a child. I am not raising mini-adults, I am raising children and teaching them to become adults. I don't expect children to come out of the womb knowing how to recite the alphabet and write their name in pre-cursive form. Children need to play...they need to do their annual kindergarten performances. Why are we expecting so much out of someone who just recently learned to go potty in the toilet and put their shoes on the right feet?

Education is important, but is it so important that kindergartners focus on their careers and become college ready? I don't think so. I want my children to go outside and play dodge ball, jump rope, hopscotch and do fingerprinting. They just started their education and now we want them to be fluent in math, reading and writing. We want them to know what they want to do with their life at 4 and 5. Really?!

I say bring back the kindergarten program, let our children be little while they still can, and let them have fun while still learning their alphabets and numbers. Otherwise, we are going to have children who dread going to school.

[Image via Pinterest]

Family Time....Photographs...

Have you ever looked at your children (and I know you all have) and wondered how they grew up so fast? K is going to be 15 in March and my baby is going to be 6. It is amazing how much can change in just 15 short years. So my new years resolution is not to lose weight (though God knows that would be great), not to eat healthier (pizza and hamburgers are my weakness), and since I don't smoke, drink or do drugs I don't need to quit those. My new years resolution is to spend more time (quality time) with my children.

This past weekend we went to Sn Francisco for the day and then Napa. Most people you know go to Napa for the wine (well the adults do) but we go to Napa to play at the park....Seriously. We found a park, the kids got out and we spent pretty much all our time there. O and I did find my dream house...it's only 795,000...I am thinking my new career path might have to be lawyer for the mob...HAHA.

Here are photos from our trip to Napa.....They all want to go back...for the park....Seriously!

 My dream house, trust me it looks better in person and in the pictures from the brochure. I took it fast, was getting funny looks by neighbors...it is empty...:)

The Pictures below are taken from the park we visited. The kids fell in love with Napa and so did I...we all want to move there...

Had to go to Ihop for Pancakes!! Nothing like pancakes to end the day...Although we had to get new shirts (see pics above where they are wearing new clothes...and we went back to the park.

 

He thinks that he is the king of the playground...

 

 A with his goofy grin...

My Princess S...

                                                 

 

                       Swing time...S loves the swing...had to buy her some pants...

I am also making it a challenge to take more pictures and to take better pictures. I am still learning my phone. Perhaps a new camera is in order......

 

In today's society it seems like family has taken a backseat to other stuff. Family time is no longer a priority and it is easy to let it slip to the wayside with work, school, bills, activities and what not. I think that we all need to make it a priority to spend time and photograph our family outings while our children are younger and while they will still go hang out with us...

 

I thought about posting a new photo every day....although not sure how well that will work out. So my challenge is for you...find new ways to spend time with your family. Document it. Photograph it. Enjoy it.

 

Until the next Scribble....