Following God

Being a parent today is hard. We have so many things to worry about where are children are concerned. Drugs, gangs, and so much more, and the list it seems, just keeps growing. As a single parent we have added worries. Studies that say children from broken homes are more likely to do drugs and join gangs and fall down a path that is not what you dreamed about the first time you held that precious and innocent baby. We also worry about the people we bring into their lives. As a single parenting, dating seems scary, and it should. Who should we bring into their lives? Who should we avoid? Is there a right time to introduce someone you are dating? How long do we date before we introduce? Should we date at all?

Here is what I realized today, our paths are already predetermined. God always knows what path we will choose, whether it be the right one, or the wrong one, he already knows. I am famous for choosing the wrong one. As I look over the course of my life, I have usually chosen the wrong path. Dated the wrong people and even went so far as to dump the right person for the wrong person just to annoy my parents. Brilliance there. I don't dwell on the past, but sometimes we have to revisit the past to make changes for the future.

I know what I want in my life and what I don't want. Professionally my goals are clear and I am working on them now. Personally, I have a vague idea of what I want in the distant future, but then again my plans may not be God's plans an I truly need to follow God's plans for my life. I have strayed from God's path, but I realize now, that the only way my life will make sense is to follow God.

Also I am also great at focusing on the negative, (easy to do right?) Well no more. Every morning I am making it a goal to thank God for the blessings I have in my life. I am no longer going to dwell on what I don't have, but focus on what I do have. It may not be much, but its still more than some people have. A visit to my cousin in Utah reminded me that I need to focus on God and listen to him.

I am human and I will stumble and I will make mistakes. Some days it will be harder to focus on what the positive and the negative will seem more abundant, those are the days I need to fight harder to remember what I do have.

So, since I know there are those of you that read this, I am going to challenge each of you to count your blessings, put the negative aside and concentrate on the positive. Make a list of your blessings and Thank God for them every morning. There are more blessing than you think when you sit down to list them. Feel free to post a comment with one or two blessings you are thankful for. Here are a couple of mine:

1) I have four healthy and beautiful children who are the center of my world.
2) I am going back to school to obtain the degree I have always wanted to earn.
3) I am healthy
4) I am thankful for my ex as without him, I would not have my wonderful children. (and I pray for him every day)
5) I have a roof over our heads and though the situation I know is temporary, I am thankful for it now

There are many more I am thankful for, but these are just a few I wanted to share with everyone to help you get started with your own list.

Until next time.....

And Now.....

It is time to relax and get back into our daily routines. After 2 weeks of traveling, first a 10 hour drive to Utah to visit family, and then a 3 hour drive to SF, 3 days after we returned from Utah, for my dad's wedding, I can finally get my family back on track.

We have spent an equivalent of 40 hours or more in the car in the last 2 weeks. I will say that having a DVD player in the car is a MUST for any parent. It is almost eerie how quiet the car gets when there is a movie on for them to watch.

I have accumulated some tips for child travel, that I will implement on our future travels.
1. Must, MUST, MUST have a DVD Player in the car and have the car stocked with movies.
2. ALWAYS travel in a van or SUV big enough to hold 4 kids.
3. Buy bottle water and easy snacks...this lightens up the amount of times you have to stop.
4. Back each child a Kid Kit: books, toys, games and whatever else occupies your child's attention
5. Listening to KLove will calm you down, Lady Gaga, not so much
6 If your child says, "Mom, I have to Pee, STOP! Even if there is not a bathroom near by! STOP! Let the child pee for crying out loud!
7. In Nevada if you find yourself going 100 and pass a cop sitting on the side of the road....he will not pull you over. Apparently this OK, or maybe being in a minivan he figured I had a car full of children who were getting on my nerves and I was trying to reach my destination faster....just a thought
8. It is easier than you think to go 100 and not even realize it!
9. You do not get to listen to the radio while a DVD is playing and headphones are not recommended while driving
10. Before you rent a car, make sure it has been thoroughly checked out before you leave, or you will be trading cars in Nevada (Glad I did though)

OK some of these are not tips more like advice, but either way! Good things to know. The number one thing we all need to remember, you are not in control, God is and he will help you out in any situation no matter how mad or stressed out you get.

Hope all is well with everyone and have fun traveling, Lord knows I am. Next destination.....no clue, but I am truly looking forward to it!

Until next time....

More than you can handle....

Its is one of those days where you just want to climb back under the covers and never get back out. Just bury yourself among the pillows and blankets and hide. A day where nothing goes right and it is just one problem after another. It started out that way and it has continued to be a black blight on my day. Nothing I do changes it. Then I think about the last 5 years and realize that after 5 years of hell, it doesn't appear to get better. Sure there are moments that are fun and memorable....well actually its all memorable, just some are better memories than other. 5 years of misery, with a bit of bright spots shining through...Kind of like 5 years of dark cloudy rain, with the sun fighting to shine through but never quite making it.
That's the kind of day it has been.

I've been told that God never gives us more than we can handle. Everyone says it, but I have had way more than anyone one person should have to handle. I have, but I am not sure I believe it anymore. Admittedly I haven't broken yet, maybe a few mini meltdowns, but I am still here. Still breathing, still waking up every morning and getting out of bed and still living.

Tomorrow I will do the same, even it means not doing some of the things we wanted to do. It will all work out in the end and one day the cloudy days will seem few and far between. This will all one day seem like a bad dream ad all will be right in my world.

Live, Love, Laugh

Until next time...