Fathers and Children....Ladies I am Talking to You!

One of my fondest memories as a parent was watching my children interact with their father. It literally melted my heart to see him interact with them and play with them. To watch him meet them at their level and just connect with our children. Shh..don't tell him that though! :)

As a single mom, ladies I can tell you, dirty laundry happens and that does not mean that it has to affect our children. Yet I have numerous male friends who are being kept from their children for the sake of bitterness. Mom's who are trying to use their children to harm the other parent. Sure, you are affecting their dad and hitting him where it hurts, but who you are really harming are your children. You are keeping them from the other person in their life they love just as much as they love you. For what? Let me tell you right now, you are doing for no reason that matters, for no reason that is valid, just out of sheer bitterness and anger. You are allowing your anger and hatred to cloud your better judgement and you are harming the child(ren) you claim to love more than anything.

Acceptable Reasons to Keep a Child from the Other Parent

• The other parent is in jail 
• The other parent is currently under the influence of drugs or alcohol
• The other parent has been physically, emotionally or verbally abusive to the child(ren). 
• The other parent is living with a person who is dangerous, abusive or under the influence of drugs or alcohol. 
• The other person has a mental disorder that is not currently being treated and they pose a danger to the child(ren). 
• The other parent is a pedophile or has sexually abused your child(ren). 

I am sure there are reason not on this list that I have missed, but you get the idea. Unless there is a very valid reason to protect your child from their father, don't keep them apart. My ex-husband has not seen his children in about 8 years and calls them on their birthday and holidays. Our divorce was not pretty and I can say that neither of us handled the other person very well. At one point I felt the need to protect my children from being taken and I would never see them again. Why? He said he would pick them up from school and I would never see them again. I weighed the likelihood of him actually doing this and part of me would swear up and down that he would never do it, but I just didn't know. Divorce has shed a whole new light on this person I had loved and married. So I got full physical and legal custody, which he never contested. Little did I know this piece of paper would be his excuse not to see our children, even though I have tried to change it a couple times, he never complies. 

Now I am not here to use this post or this blog to ever badmouth my ex, he is in all reality a good person and he started out as the greatest father I have ever seen. He was great with our children and he loved them wholeheartedly, I am just not sure what happened. Divorce is ugly and I did my share of things to him that I regret 100% (and perhaps that can be my next blog or a future one). I have said things to him I regret, I threw a blender at him and the list goes on and on. I was hurt and I was angry. I never thought that our divorce would take away the one other person that matters most on this earth to my children...their dad. 

Ladies, if you listen to anything listen to this....your children need their dad just as much as he needs them. You loved this man once, enough to create life with him. You created these precious children with this person and he deserves to be in their life just as much as you do. Put your feelings aside and do what is best for those sweet children, who love this man. Their dad. I would move heaven and earth for my children to have a relationship with their dad, to spend summers with their dad (we are on separate sides of the country), and every other Christmas and etc... I would give anything for them to be able to hang out with their dad and hug him and laugh with him and just be together. 

My dad with K, A, S, M! 

"He doesn't pay child support" you say, well guess what, neither does my ex, but I would still never use this as a reason for them not have a relationship with their dad. Yeah he should, he helped create them, but don't let that prevent the children from knowing their dad. The other half of who they are. 

He divorced you, not them. Let;s get to the bottom of the matter, for most of you this hits home. He left you, he divorced you, so you are going to punish him...No! That is not how it works. God will deal with him on his flaws and his misdeed, just as He will deal with you on yours, but don't interfere in the relationship between father and child. I could through numerous statistics in here, but I don't feel the need. I just need you to know that the only one this doing any real damage to....your child(ren). They suffer the most. They turn it inward and blame themselves or think daddy just doesn't love me anymore. 

It breaks my heart to see my children suffering from not having their dad around. S things her dad hates her. M has never known what it is like to have a dad and may never know. K misses the guy she loves and whose interests match her own. No guy will ever replace her daddy in her heart. A needs his dad so desperately to teach him the things he needs to know and to talk to. They are all hurting in their own way and I can only pray that one day he will realize the damage he is doing to these children. 

STOP! Stop hurting your kids. Drop your vendetta against this person and do what is best for your children, not what is best for you. You divorced the other person, but that does NOT give you the right to keep these children, that you claim to love, from their dad! Keep your feelings and opinions in regards to your ex to yourself and cultivate the second most important relationship your child will ever have. 

Last but not least for those of your that have new relationships and are remarried, your ex, the person you created this child with is still their dad! Not your new partner. Yes the stepparent relationship is important too, but not nearly as important as the one with their real father. Just because you started a new relationship does not give you the right to literally try and replace their father with this new man. It will only end up causing you more problems in the end...in your new relationship and in your home. It will cause problems between your children and your new partner. NO ONE can replace their dad, just like no woman he gets involved with could ever replace you. 

Put the shoe on the other foot and ask yourself how you would feel if the other parent did this to you? How would you feel if you were the one being kept from your own child? How would you feel if someone tried to turn your precious children against you? You would hate it. You would be heartbroken and sad. You would be angry. This is how their dad feels. 

Okay, rant over. This is an issue I feel strongly about, and one that needs to change. The importance of a father in the life of a child is significant. They need dad and dad needs them. All this will accomplish, is them possibly resenting you for keeping them from their dad. 

Until the next Scribble.........

One of Those Days....

It is one of those days. you know the one, where your irritated for reasons you cant quite put your finger on. Or maybe you can put a finger on your irritation but refuse to do so. Who knows. Irritation is building and you know it is probably only a matter of time until you explode with either angry words or it could be print form. What ever the reason, what ever the cause, you are irritated and those close to you are the ones most likely to suffer your wrath. Unless of course you are in line at the coffee shop and the person in front of you has no idea what they want, while you stand behind them knowing exactly what you want. Heaven forbid the Barista (today's word for those who make your coffee), messes up your order.

As I sit here in the coffee shop working on a paper for class, I have see the irritation of customers who direct their frustration on the poor girls behind the counter. One got their coffee as ordered but decided to complain anyway. The joys of working with the public.

What about us as Christians? How do we handle frustration and irritation? Just because we have the label of Christian surrounding us, this does not automatically guarantee that my behaviors or my initial reactions are going to be changed the moment I accepted the label of Christian or accepted that God was in charge of my life, and neither did any of the other Christians living out there.

We are human and we are going to make mistakes, the questions that Christians face is whether or not we give our troubles over to God and ask for forgiveness when we are wrong. I have mentioned that I am mom (perhaps not in this blog post, but in others) and I am human, very capable of making daily mistakes with my choices, my parenting and my opinions. I can hurt the feelings of my children without ever meaning to. Just ask them.

We need to pray and read the word daily. Will this erase our humanness? Heavens no, we will always be vulnerable to our humanness. Always. The beauty is that God knows this! He really does and He loves us anyway. Despite our faults, our actions and how we behave.

Just yesterday I wrote this in my journal:

     Thank you Lord, that you accept me into your family. You accept me just as I am and you have opened your arms to accept me. For this I am truly grateful and blessed. I am blessed beyond all measure to have you as a Father. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

We only have to open our bibles and read His word to gain an understanding of just how much He loves us. It is written on every page of this very important book. All we have to do is open it. I have committed myself to starting my day of in His word and ending my day in His word. Some days I am really good at this and others I just really want to do nothing more than sleep in for a few extra minutes. As a single mom mornings are hectic (and no you don't have to be a single mom for your morning to be hectic). 

One of my go-to bible verses is Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Sometimes this is hard to remember, and we can take on frustrations we really do not have to take on.  

I am trusting God to work out my frustrations and the things I am waiting on. We have to trust Him, if we want the best for our lives. He knows our wants and our needs, He knows the desires of our hearts and as Psalms 37:3 says, we need to trust in him and take delight in him and He will give us the desires of our heart. The key to this is that He needs to be our number one desire. 

Let go of your irritation and frustration and give them over to God. He has this, you don't need to fight battles that He has already won for you. He already won today's battles, tomorrows and every other battle we face in the future. We may not get the answer we want, but it will be His best answer. 

Sit back, breathe and pray! 

Until the next Scribble......

Sometimes Parenting Sucks....Sometimes...

Being a parent sucks sometimes. Let's just throw it out there and be real for a minute. We all see the Facebook posts of our friends and family who show how joyful and sweet being a parent is. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother, it is in fact one of my greatest joys, but I do not have rose colored blinders on that keep me from seeing the unpleasantness that come with being a mother. There are so many of us who feel like we are failing at this job called parenting, while we are reading unrealistic posts of rose colored lives where nothing is irritating and nothing goes wrong. Hello! Am I the only one living in the real world?

Parenting sometimes sucks.

Kids fight, we fight to keep the house cleaned, and hello, when was the last time you go to the bathroom uninterrupted? When was the last time you got to take a shower with a child running in and complaining about their brother throwing pancake into their hair? Seriously? I am the only one this happens to?

Have I mentioned that I love being a mother? There are joys that come with raising children, but they are not every day and they are not 100% of the time. Today for instance, S, M and myself all watched, Night at the Museum, together. No one fought, we all laughed and it was a rare time of uninterrupted family time. No fights ensued, not name calling and no hogging of the snacks. It was rare...did I mention this? Normally when we all try to watch a movie (and keep in mind K and A were elsewhere), there is fighting over the snacks, who sits in what spot, who is closer to mom, who gets to hold the remote (why are we holding the remote? There are no commercials to fast forward in a movie from Redbox) and the list continues.

There are the moments where our beautiful little angels are actually bad. They throw tantrums in the store (so not fun), they deliberately make a mess to make a point (what I am not sure). Or the times when you have to discipline them....not my favorite moment in parenting.

I love being a parent and if for some reason all of this went away I would miss it. Sure my house would stay clean, and the milk would get put away and the clothes would stay folded in the drawers and the million other things that kids are not going to do until they have their own house and realize mom was right, but I would miss out on the best thing that ever happened to me...motherhood.

I don't see the world through rose colored, everything is perfect glasses, but I do see the joy in the mess, the fights, the constant state of frustration. I see the love they have for each other (yeah, really they do). They can pick on each other all they want, but look out if anyone outside their sibling bond messes with any one of them. The protect and defend each other. They actually, on occasion, say nice things to one another. The mommy time snuggles, the kisses, the hugs, are all the best parts of being their mom. Yes I may get frustrated. I may yell. I may completely pull out all of my hair, but I wouldn't change a thing where K, A, S & M are concerned. They are my not-so-perfect little angels. I am proud to be called their mom.

Until the Next Scribble.....

Faith Realizations

I can honestly say that on the day I took my vows, I never saw myself as as a single mother, let alone a single mother without help from their father. I never saw him as the man I see him as now. Never knew how much I could love a person and then hate them just as much. I never wanted to hurt someone as much as I wanted to hurt this person that I loved more than anything. Ever been there? Divorce is a scary place. It shows you a side of yourself that even you never realized was there. I kept asking why God did this to our family, to our marriage.

He didn't. We did. Satan sent people to steal, kill and destroy, and we let these people destroy not only our marriage, but our the home our children felt safe and secure in. Where they felt loved and protected. We took the very foundation of their lives away and for what? For nothing. I can't speak for my ex-husband and I won't try. I am sure he has justified his mistakes and his part in taking away this security from our children. I know he fights his own battles with how we ended our marriage. 

I was young when I got married and I can honestly say I didn't know the first thing about commitment and marriage. About the sacrifices that came with home and family. I am a pretty good mom, and I love my children. I loved my husband, (something I never truly admit, because then I would have to admit to the hurt that came along with what he did). I look at my children and I wonder, who would they be today, had I fought harder for my marriage. Had we taken the time to realize that divorce had never been apart of God's plan for our family. Would they be the same as they are today and honestly I can say No, they wouldn't be. In a sense we broke them, and the sad part is, he doesn't even realize this. They have hurt, anger, bitterness and emotional scars they would not have and it is our fault. Not my fault, not his fault, but ours jointly. We broke the very people we promised to love, protect and keep from harm. 

This was not God's plan for our lives. 

Being a single mom is hard. It sucks. It was never the way it was meant to be. There are times when I want to yell and scream at God for allowing this to happen. For not stopping these people from interfering. When I look back, I blamed only one person and while her part is big, and she alone has to deal with God for her part in my broken family, we do too. We have to admit we gave up, instead of remembering that we promised to love, honor and cherish one another. We promised for better or worse and when worse came, we bailed. I distinctly remember God telling me to fight for my marriage, but I didn't know how. I didn't have the strength to fight and I failed to remember that God is my strength. 

Satan won this battle and we let him. We gave him the tools to do it and he had a field day. 

So what does this have to do with anything? Simple. Faith. I didn't have faith that God would heal what was damaged. I didn't have faith that God would give me the strength to fight for my marriage. My faith was lacking, big time. Not only was my faith lacking, but I gave in the lies and doubts that Satan was telling me. If I could go back, I would. Not just for my children, who deserved to have a mother who would fight for their family, not just her marriage, but for their home; but to undo all the ugliness of that time. To unsay all the hurtful things I said. You see, when I fell hurt or threatened, I attack and not in a nice way. I will aim for where I know it will hurt the most, I will then twist it until it hurts even more and that is what I did. 

Today I look back and realize just how much I had to have hurt this person who once was my life. How much I destroyed the person I loved. We both did this to each other. I gave in to my hurt, my anger, my bitterness and my children paid the ultimate price of that. No, I am not solely to blame, but I can own my part in it. 

What I realize today is God never left us. He never abandoned us and left us to our devices, we just ignored him. We let our worldly views cloud our spiritual ones. What I have learned through this difficult process of being a single mom and completely on my own raising these children, is that I am stronger than I give myself credit for, but I am only strong because my strength, (even when I didn't acknowledge it) comes from God. Phillipians 4:13, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I can be a single mother. I can raise my kids on my own. I can make a way, where this no way, because it is not me doing it, it is God. He makes the way where there is no way. He gives me the strength to get through each day. 

Someday I may get married again....(there was a time when I wanted absolutely nothing to do with marriage again), and I can take what I have learned with me. However, I will fail again if I don't put God first in the next marriage. God has to come first. God need to be first. When we set our sights on Him, there is nothing we can't overcome. Satan can't destroy a foundation that is built on God's word, God's love and God's promises. I have learned so much about myself and my walk with God in the last little while. I can only pray that one day, I will be the woman God wants me to be. I can say this, I am not going back to the person I had become after my divorce...More on that later! Now its time to get ready and spend the day with my Little Man, to celebrate the miracle of his life...a.k.a his birthday!!! :) 

Until the next Scribble........

Juggling Single Motherhood

Okay, so I am going to switch things up a bit. Change is still the theme of this year, in fact, I made it my theme word for this year. This year is all about change. 

However, today was crazy. The washer is acting wonky, the kids are restless and this mommy is just tired. School work, house cleaning, getting the house in order after having moved, doing this, doing that and looking for a job and all while trying to keep my sanity and the kids alive. Vodka/Cranberry anyone? 

When I was married and had kids and was a stay-at-home mom I often wondered how single mom's did it. I had a ton of respect (and still do) for those mom's that did it all on their own. How did they get it all done? A question I often pondered. Now that I have been a single mom for many years, I can say, they don't. That and they don't sleep. When I had a husband who did all the "guy" stuff and I did all the "mom/girl" stuff, it wasn't perfect or always easy, but it was easier. The responsibilities were split in half and mom even got a girls night out on Friday's twice a month.

Single moms have to be both mom and dad. Seriously for some of us this hard to do. I know nothing about being a dad. I can't fish, hunt, or work on a car. I can't play baseball or football and I mix up whether a game has quarters or innings. With a that has to be done in a day, something is going to get left out, forgotten or undone. I just hope it is not a kid. Forgetting or losing your kids is seriously frowned upon. Have you ever lost your child for a second in a store? Did you see all those people staring at you like you were a bad mother? I know I have and I did! 

Today, I just felt like a crazy white woman trying to keep it all together, and failing. Who can do it all? No one. Even the ones that look like they have it all together and that they get nothing wrong, do mess up and they do forget things. They even lose a child in the store once in awhile. No one is perfect and no one can get it all done. I don't need vodka/cranberry, I have God. He tells me I am worth it, imperfections and all. With Him, I can do all things for He is the one who gives me strength. My help, my strength, my hope, and my will to keep going, all comes from Him. 

Most days it is a juggling act. Who needs to be where. K has Robotics, S has bowling, M has baseball, A is where? Right, E's house. Church is on Sunday's, get up get four kids ready and out the door. Did S go to H's house? Or did she go to E's house? Where can I squeeze groceries in and did I do all the assignments for school only to now have to help M with his homework. Scheduling is a nightmare with 4 active children and a mom. Drop K off at Band, Pick S up from Boys and Girls club, take A to youth group. The schedule juggling act. 

Now....

Most days I just fall into bed. I don't even always remember doing it, it just happens. Today, for example was non-stop fighting, and not listening to mom. The wonky washing machine made me throw all the clothes in the van and head to the laundromat. Killing two birds with one trip to town, when the clothes were all in the dryer we went to Walmart to get a few miscellaneous items. M was definitely bored with our outing and acted up a bit. Then of course there was the fighting and no one wanting to clean up....even after a thousand "Hey do this" from mom. It was one of those days you seriously consider selling those precious, adorable children to gypsy's. 

Well, I guess it is that time...time for this tired mom to go to bed. 

Until the next Scribble........

P.S. I totally just realized I need to shave my legs....add it to the list of things to do tomorrow!!! 

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all you daddy's out there who are there day in and day out. Who play the role and love the role being a dad gives them each day. To the daddy's that kiss the boo-boo's, wipe away the tears, give hugs and spend every day doing what need's to be done. The one's who stay through the good, the bad and the not-so-much-fun days. You are awesome.

To all you single mom's out there, it is easy to put down your ex, but remember he gave you the best thing that ever happened to you. He gave you the child(ren) you hold dear and without him, those little angels would not be here. I know, believe me I know, it is easy to rant and dis your ex and call him every name in the book. Don't. This day is not just to honor the Father's who are good, but to honor the children the bad one's created.

In our home, we don't celebrate Father's Day in the way most do. It is a day I spend with my little one's and honor them. They love their dad, and they miss him, it is not my place to take that away from them or destroy their feelings for him. I get to remember him as the dad he was, the father he started out to be and the one that I know deep down is still there. They get to keep their ideas of him in their hearts and minds.
Ladies let me tell you something, killing this idea in their heads does not alienate him, does not work out the way you want it and in the end that one that looks bad is you.

At one time you loved this guy enough to create life with him. He is not (or was not) all bad. When I look at my children, I see him in them. I see him in K who loves Robotics, band and hates brand names. I see him in A who has a love for tinkering and building things. I see him in S, when she chooses to show that sensitive side of her, the one who gets her feeling hurt easily. I see him in M, even though M has never seen him, who is sensitive and loving and who would makes friends everywhere he goes. I him in their eyes, their smiles and their laughter. I know their are dad's out there who don't deserve to be celebrated, but remember without them, your children would not be here. Those hugs, kisses, muddy hand-prints
, sticky fingers that leave stickiness everywhere they touch, would be nothing, not even a distant memory. That little one who you held in your arms for the first time, who looked at you with big crocodile tears would not be even a thought on your radar if it was not for the man who helped you create them. Celebrate the good father's, there are some out there, and celebrate the children who love their father's unconditionally.

Let Them Be Little

I was listening to the news yesterday and the Dj's were talking about a school in New york, that decided to not do their annual kindergarten program. What parent does not like going to their child's school and watching them sing, dance, and be cute. So why cancel something that teaches the children to get up in front of an audience and perform? Why cancel something that allows children to have fun while learning to memorize lines and songs?

The reason is....

Are you ready?

They decided it was more important to focus on studying and become college and career ready rather than have a kindergarten performance! Seriously?! As a parent, I have watched my children do kindergarten (and other grades) performances and it has not changed their minds of wanting to ballerinas, fireman, police, astronauts, or spider-man when they grow up. I have been annoyed with the education system for awhile, for my own reasons. For example when M was in kindergarten they expected children to color in the lines, and do realistic coloring. Are you kidding me? Who hasn't colored an apple blue? Hair purple? (For M this was realistic as his sister K had purple hair). They changed printing from block letters to pre-cursive writing so the letters now HAVE to have a little kick on then end. Really? Like I told his teacher, I am happy if he can just write the letters. Who expects perfection out of kindergartners? There is too much expectation out of our preschoolers and kindergartners.

I am all for education and learning. I love learning. The problem is that school is taking the fun out of education and being a child. I am not raising mini-adults, I am raising children and teaching them to become adults. I don't expect children to come out of the womb knowing how to recite the alphabet and write their name in pre-cursive form. Children need to play...they need to do their annual kindergarten performances. Why are we expecting so much out of someone who just recently learned to go potty in the toilet and put their shoes on the right feet?

Education is important, but is it so important that kindergartners focus on their careers and become college ready? I don't think so. I want my children to go outside and play dodge ball, jump rope, hopscotch and do fingerprinting. They just started their education and now we want them to be fluent in math, reading and writing. We want them to know what they want to do with their life at 4 and 5. Really?!

I say bring back the kindergarten program, let our children be little while they still can, and let them have fun while still learning their alphabets and numbers. Otherwise, we are going to have children who dread going to school.

[Image via Pinterest]

Messy house....A Blessing?!

Motherhood the land of a messy house, kid wars, food wars, the occasional embarrassing scene at the grocery store where your toddler throws a fit because you wont buy her (or him) the cookies she wants. That place where you look at the little angels who came from your body and see monsters who have invaded your home. Motherhood. That title you wished for and planned for since childhood when you played with your dolls and pretended your bedroom was your house and the neighborhood boy down the street was your husband ( because you were not going to be a single mother, no little girl plays single Mom house).

There are numerous times when I have walked into my house and the only thing I can see is the mess. The toys on the floor, or the odd scraps of little papers and things that seem to make their way onto the floor. The hair ties, shoes not put where they belong and backpacks thrown about wherever they land. The mess. How many of you can relate? I mean really, what if the neighbor down the street comes by to say hello? It never happens, but because your house is a mess you know they will.

As I walk through the door I close my eyes and pray silently that when I open them it will all miraculously be clean. Of course its not. So the other day I was struck by a thought. A simple thought that made me stop and relook at the house as I walked in.

What did I see? Still a mess, but it wasn't that I saw a mess it was what the mess reminded me of that day. (Funny isn't it, God gives us these little messages and unless we in the mood to hear it, we may miss them). This mess, that can so easily aggravate me, became something totally new. There are little people living in my house. These people that God gave me and that I am blessed to come home to. I am lucky to be their mother. I have little ones (and not so little ones) to come home to, where some mothers only have memories. This mess signifies that I am blessed to have my children at home, able to make these messes and aggravate me. While I would still love to come home to a clean house (and occasionally, like yesterday) I do, the mess is now a welcomed site and a reminder that regardless of what we need or don't have, I am blessed, because I am a mom to 4 amazing children.

I'm not perfect, so I will forget and I will get aggravated because I am not perfect and occasionally, like all human mothers do, will yell and pull my hair out, and later that night I will ask for forgiveness for my yelling and aggravation. I will every night thank God for them, pray over them and pray over myself that I will remember that mess can be a positive thing, even if my personality doesn't agree.

So the next time you walk into your messy house....(and for a brief God-less moment wish for vodka or perhaps a spotless home) remember there is a mother (and father) out there who now wishes that they could open their door to a mess, to fighting siblings or loud music playing and be thankful that you still have that. I know I am.

Until the next scribble.....

This blog...and more...Enjoy!

I have spent a lot of time thinking about this blog and the direction that I wanted it to go. What did I want to use it for, and then I was sitting in church this week and the pastor was talking about Hope (the next two weeks will be faith and love). While listening to this sermon, I kept thinking that I need to use this blog for more than just witty and whimsical posts about my family. I will still post those, but we need more God in our lives. Not just on Sunday, where we get dressed up for church, and sit through the sermon, greet friends and new comers and then go home. We need God Monday - Saturday as well. So this blog, while still about the struggles of being a single mom and the day to day amazement my children bring me, I am directing it  towards God and his work in our lives. I also thought about what Faith, Hope and Love meant to me. So I will be working on a blog that deals with these. Especially since Friday, when all our hearts were broken when an armed man, (I am not using the name of the gunman on purpose) came into a school and wreaked havoc on the lives of our most innocent. I have a blog outlined (in my head) for one related to this, because as probably almost any parent here can relate to, when you hear something of this magnitude you automatically do not want to send your children to school anymore. Homeschooling sounds like a much more viable option than sending our children to school where this can happen.

So I encourage you to join the blog as a subscriber. Read this blog and tell your friends about it.  Hopefully I can do my part in spreading God's word. We need more of God and not less in this world. There are those who claim to be spreading God's word and really they are only spouting out Satan's word. Westboro Church for instance who protest military funerals and who know want to protest at the funerals of these innocent children and brave teachers. God did not use an armed gunman to brutally murder and terrify children and teachers to seek vengeance on this world for gay marriage, or for any other horrible sin this church feels that society is making. Our God might be a jealous God, he mourns for those who do not follow Him, he does not kill them in His name and he certainly does not take vengeance out on innocent children who can't possibly know or understand any of this. Shame on this so-called church for intruding and possibly intruding on these funerals where parents are mourning the death of their child, or their loved one who so bravely protected these students to the best of their ability. I can't watch the news anymore, it is heartbreaking and even Morgan Freeman had a valid point, that by watching and retaining the name of the killer we are validating him in a small way. He pointed out that what is remembered in these kinds of tragedies is the name of the killer and not the victims. It is the victims that matter here, not the murderer. It doesn't matter how many were killed, whether or not this is the worst or close to the worst school shooting tragedy, simply because one is not more tragic than another. All are tragic, senseless and something that we will never understand.

Pray today for these families. Pray that God brings them some amount of healing and comfort. Their hearts are broken and their lives are forever changed. Only God can bring peace, healing and comfort for those mourning their loved ones.

As a parent I can't imagine my 5 year old not coming home from school to share with me his excitement over his day and that he got a green note today or being good. Or my 12 year old who may not always have a good day, but does try to find something good in her day, and who loves to tell me about her day after school. My 13 year who has a rough day at school most of the time, but still has a loving heart. My 14 year old and first born, who I have watched grow up into an amazingly independent individual. These children, a gift from God, are the joys of my life, they aggravate me, they frustrate and anger me better than anyone else can with their petty fights and senseless torture of one another, but they also bring me joy and wonder. I am constantly amazed at each of them and the things they come up with. If one of them did not come home, my world would be truly broken. Saturday I woke up to these little one's fighting and I started to yell at them, and then I stopped and thanked God that they were still here to argue with one another. I did ask them to stop and directed them to better and more productive activities. We need to thank God each and every day for our precious gifts. We need to put Him first in our lives.

Until the next Scribble.....

You said what?!?

At the grocery store yesterday, I overhear a guy talking on his phone, (and you say we girls talk a lot), saying he doesn’t understand how on earth his wife could possibly think that her staying home with the kids all day is harder than going to work all day. The poor baby has to go to work every day and even on the weekends sometimes. Oh and he has a boss to deal with, and deadlines (Oh my), and he has actual work to do! How he would love to babysit (WHAT?! Babysit your own kids?!) all day and get to stay in his pajamas all day if he chooses (hey buddy even Peg Bundy got dressed). Hell half the time he is not sure she even brushes her teeth (are you kidding me, leave her!).  Motherhood, he states, the job of women who are lazy and lack ambition, seriously, (You’re not seriously wondering why you don’t get sex often anymore are you buddy??).  How hard can it be, he tells his friend, to wipe up spilled cheerios and watch TV all gosh darn day?

With the amount of respect he so obviiiiiously has for his wife, I can’t figure out my reluctance to take that road again! I want to smack him for his wife and save her the domestic dispute and spousal abuse charges, Mr. Sunshine would obviously charge her with.

Only about a million responses immediately flew to my head! Lazy and lack ambition? OK I have heard that before, but to say it about your own wife? The woman, who carried YOUR child for 9 months, gave birth and now gives up her career to be a mom to the child you two created? Oh buddy I would run! She must be a saint or blind!

How do you think your laundry gets done? What about the clean house to and who do you think cooks your dinner? Unless, and I highly doubt it, you have a maid, a cook and a laundry service your baby sitter did all that! Do you think little magic fairies arrive when you leave and *POOF* everything is magically done at the wave of a wand or twitch of a nose? (Oh how we all wish we could be Samantha Stevens)

So, to the overworked, probably under paid and absolute ray of sunshine, in the store, get a clue moron! We have bosses too, they just come in smaller packages, wear diapers, throw bottles at us and puke all over us daily, OR they come in the package of a demon possessed teenager who only knows, “I hate you”, “you ruined my life” or some other adorable explanation like that. They dictate our daily schedules 24/7, at least you get to leave your boss at the office ours climbs in our bed at night when they have a nightmare!

We once had figures that looked like a figure, we had time on our hands to do what we wanted and go where we want, now it’s about ballet, baseball and PTA!  Don’t get me started on deadlines! With our bosses it is now, Now, NOW or wham, bottle in the head because NOW was not soon enough!

We do your laundry, clean your house, raise your children, go to PTA meetings,  ballet class, pick up the cheerios off the floor, cook dinner,  pick up the toys, tuck them in to bed, does your boss need you to tuck them into bed? (Second thought, they better not!), we run your errands, go to the grocery store, listen to Barney or Dora the Explorer (or in the case of the demon possessed teenager strange music that sounds strangely enough like Satan yelling into a Mic!), and when we actually do try to have sex, a kid wakes up! Nothing in our lives is the same anymore, nor would we give up one second of it, but hey let’s trade for a day and see who is crying by the end of the day! It won’t be Mom (well until she sees all the work you didn’t get done because you couldn’t figure out how to run the washer and dryer, or turn the vacuum on or know what the word cleaning actually meant!) Just sayin….

Until next time....