Non-New Years Resolutions

Who doesn't love the start of a new year? Reminiscing about the ups and downs of the previous year and looking forward to the unwritten story of the upcoming year about to begin. I love the celebrations of new beginnings and the new year is no exception. Kissing the one you love at midnight and praying for the year that is about to start. It's exciting, it's new and best of all we get to experience it all with the wonder and amazement that accompanies the unknown. What I don't like...New Year's Resolutions.  I love the new year. I love reminiscing about the ups and downs of the year that is about to end and look forward to the blank slate yet to be filled, of the new year about to start. A new year is an unwritten story just waiting to be read. I alway ponder what will happen in the upcoming year. What I don't like is New Year's Resolutions.

Creating resolutions for the new year always seems like a way to set yourself up to fail. Here is what a typical New Year's Resolution list looks like:

lose weight

make more money

buy a new car

buy a new house

spend more time with family

spend less money

exercise more

eat healthier

forgive those who wrong me

get closer to God

Go to Disneyland

Move

fall in love

get married

....

Creating a New Year's Resolution list is like setting yourself up for failure in the New Year...at the beginning of the year. It is like a list of failures about to happen. Who wants that? Here are a list of things that we write on our resolution list; things that we hope we can change:

lose wight

move

fall in love 

buy a new (fill in the blank) 

write a book 

learn to cook

learn to knit

learn to (fill in the blank) 

Spend more time praying

Spend more time with family

work less

work more 

find a job

earn more money

socialize more 

start a savings account 

make amends with family 

pray more 

read my bible more 

go to church 

exercise 

eat healthier 

....

Who can do all those things in one year? When I hear people say, "I am going to fall in love this year" I think "how?" You can't make yourself fall in love with someone, trust me we have all tried and failed. Love isn't something you can put on a list of things to accomplish in a year. It just happens, when it is supposed to happen. In fact, all these things are things that happen when they are supposed to happen. When God's timing says they will happen. 

Here is what I am planning to do instead of a new years resolution. I am making a prayer list of the things I want to change. I am going to write a bible verse next to each one and stand on that verse for that item on the list. I am not going to say, I want this to happen this year, I am going to say, "Lord this is my list of things I want changed in my life, in my family and I am giving this list to You. You who is our provider, healer, dream fulfiller. You whose word says in Matthew 6:26-34 (or your own verse), that You are our provider, but we need to have faith in You. Faith in Your love for us. I give this list to You and put my faith and my trust in You and in Your word," This is what I am going to do, create a prayer list. I am not going to put a date on when these items need to happen by, because God's timing is so much better than our's could ever be. 

It is not because we want change that change happens, it because we want change and we trust in God and pray to God for change to happen that it happens. Let's make a prayer list and give to God who wants to help us with our changes. Let's pray over 2015 instead of making a list of changes and putting a date next to them. 

Yes it is still a list and it is still a list of things we want changed in our life, but we can't do it on our own. Well we can, but I promise you the outcome will not be as good as what it will be with God helping us. There is nothing we can't do with God on our side, but there is so much we will miss out on, if we try to go about it on our own! :) 

Until the Next Scribble.........

Faith....Hope....Love

Faith...Hope...Love

1 Cor 13:4-7

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. 

    Love is never easy, but it is always worth it. It is never perfect and I heard a song the other day on the radio called, Broken Together by Casting Crowns, that reminds me just how imperfect it really is. It is about a couple that is already married, but it seemed so fitting to me. 

    No relationship is without its issues. The question is, are you willing to put in the time and the effort it takes to make it work. To keep those promises you made or will make. I am not married, but I know the one that God has for me, it is just going to take time. Time I am willing to put in. This song reminds me that our relationship is never perfect, but it has stood through a lot. For now we are just friends, and that is okay. God's time is the best time. 

God's time is the best time. 

    I can't tell you what to do in your own relationship, but I can tell you that nothing worth holding onto will ever be easy to hold onto. Will I be said if for some reason, this friendship never goes where I want it to go? Absolutely. Will I still love God if it doesn't? Absolutely. My faith is in knowing that God's plan for me is the perfect plan for me. 

     Here is what else I know, I know that through all the trials with other girls, and the fights we have had (even as friends) and the many trials satan has thrown at us, nothing can come between what God brought together...unless we let it. I won't let it. I have a journal I just started the other day that is solely a daily prayer written strictly for the two of us. Maybe it's silly, but it is also comforting and it is also a daily fight against satan's plan to destroy it. One day, maybe, I will let him read it. 

    Matthew 19:6 says, "Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together." No we are not married, but we are two, because God has put us together. I know we are not ready, neither one of us, to be together, we are continually putting down the foundation. I will pray everyday for what I know what God has planned! I stand on this verse in prayer everyday since I started this journal. 

     We have a time of separation coming up, which I know we need. I also know that even during this time, he is meant for me. Love hopes all things, believes all things and about all has faith that God will pull all things together for His glory. During this time, I need to work on me and that is what I am going to do. 

     In the song, Broken Together, the line says, "maybe you and I were never meant to be complete. Can we just be broken together." How beautiful is that? We both have dreams that were shattered by divorce and hurt and we both have walls. Mine are just more evident than his. Love is not a fairy tale woven together with fairies and fairy Godmothers, but it is a story woven together by God. Much better than any fairy tale. 

God's story is much better than any fairy tale. 

     So, what is the purpose of this particular blog? Hope. Hope in love and Faith in God. It is trusting him and knowing that He has the answers and the timing. He holds the key to the desires in our heart. This man means more to me than I can say with mere words. He keeps me grounded and makes me laugh. He irritates me, frustrates me and makes me smile all at the same time. 

      If you are already married, planning to get married or even if like me, you know, but haven't yet begun, trust God. Keep fighting for what you know God has planned for you. Here is a little secret though, anything God puts together, you don't have to fight for. He already has won that battle. Remember, you don't have to be complete, just together be broken. In time, everything works out. It won't be perfect, but it will be worth it.

     The verses I stand on daily are: 

Psalms 37:4Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desire. 

Matthew 19:6Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. 

Romans 8:28 

 "and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."

    The last verse in 1 Cor 13 is, "Three things last forever - faith, hope and loves - the greatest of these is love. Love is the most important, but you can't have love without faith and with hope. You can't have any of these without God. Faith in God. Hope in God and Love for God. o when your relationship hits a rough spot, turn to God. Trust Him that He will work it out for you.  

Until the next Scribble.......

Ready....Set....G....

Ready....Set....G....

     You are all set. You know the plan in your head, and you have everything ready to go, but the moment it is time to go, something stops you. Suddenly that well thought out plan doesn't seem so well thought out. Your not sure the details are right, you're not sure that everything will work out. You sit down and question all the decisions you made that led you to this door. This door that suddenly you can't open. 

     I know this feeling. I know it all to well and I can tell you that, this kind of thinking will get you no where fast. Fear. This is what stops you and fear is not of God, it is from satan. I had things ready, I was set to go and the kids were even on board with this move and suddenly I couldn't do it. What had seemed like a sure thing, a good thing and the best thing, suddenly seemed like the worst thing. I couldn't do it. All these doubts started creeping in. What if I can't do it? What if I fail? What if...what if...what if... The moment I started to doubt, everything fell apart. I didn't know and I wasn't sure. I didn't trust God to provide. 

     Romans 8:28 says, "and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." God is our provider and we need to trust in Him and know that He is for us not against us. He wants us to succeed and to prosper. Not to fail, Satan wants us to fail. As a certain preacher I know says in his testimony (it is amazing and everyone should hear it), "Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy". This is satan's plan for us not God's. 

    The other night during a weekly movie night with this certain preacher, we were watching the Giver and I made a comment about how the person's view was a little pessimistic and this certain

preacher looked at me and asked how often I was optimistic. This certain preacher knows me pretty well. Honestly I am more optimistic than I let on, and this was my reply. We need to be inwardly and outwardly optimistic, but we also need to know when God is telling us to go and when he is telling us to sit still.

    Psalms 37:5 says, "commit everything you do to the Lord and He will help you." Amen! The biggest thing we need and it only needs to come in the smallest form; a mustard seed, is faith. Jesus said in Matthew 17:20, "You don't have enough faith. I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." Do you have mustard seed faith? I know this something I struggle with daily. I know in my head, God can move mountains, and He will provide and He can provide, I need to cement it in my heart too. 

     My prayer for today is for God to help me with my faith. I don't need proof He exists, I know He does. I see Him every time I look at my children. In the rain that falls and in the sun that shines. I see Him in the smile of the homeless lady I give a Starbucks coffee and Santa cookie too every year. (I only ever see her at Christmas time). I seem Him in a certain preacher when he smiles. I know in my mind and my heart that God exists, now I need to know in my heart that He will provide the way and the means, even if I can't see them. 

Ready....Set....Go!

     There may be a lot of unknowns, but I know that with God I can do this. I can make this move and everything, even a certain preacher, will fall into place in God's time. I may not know what the future holds for me, I may not see the exact ways it will all fall into place, but my Faith in Him will make it happen. God will make it all work out for His glory.  So I say to you, GO! Don't hesitate like I did. I am not hesitating this time! We are going and God will provide for us! This I know in my heart and in my mind.

Until the next Scribble.....

Toxic People

Good Morning.

Here is my little corner of the world, it is cold, dark and rainy. I find this fitting, as it goes with my current mood. Not that I am sad, or even angry, just contemplative. Have you ever pondered what to do about the toxic people in your life? Sure you love them, but do you need them there? Should you keep them there? It is hard to tell someone that you can't be around them, whether it be due to drugs, alcoholism or just their every day way of being.

As I sit here with a heavy heart trying to decide what to do, I open my bible. God will tell us what we need to know, if we listen to Him. I once read an article that said God brings people into our lives to benefit us, help us and to even guide us, but so does Satan except he doesn't want to help us, he wants to destroy us.

Sitting in church yesterday, the pastor said something to me that caught my attention, He said, "Wake up and smell the coffee," Now he was talking about letting down your guard and opening the door to let him in. That we need more of Him and less of the world. He also asked what was preventing us from opening the door. James 1:8 says, "Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do." Our loyalty needs to be with God, not with the world and not to the toxic people in our life.

I can admit that I have a guard around my heart where people are concerned, but these guards that we build don't just block out people. So my question is, who are the toxic people in your life? What do we do about these people?

Some people are harder to let go of than others. Let's take a substance addicted parent or family member as an example. You love them, but they can barely love themselves. You want to help them, but at some point you have to realize you can't. You can't make someone get the help you know they need. They have to want help. I can't tell you want to do, but I can tell you that you need to let them go. They affect you.

How? They help you keep your guard up. They hurt you and don't even realize they do. They attack your children, children they are supposed to love and who are supposed to feel safe around. Remember, emotional attacks are just as hurtful and painful as physical ones. Letting go, doesn't mean you hate them or no longer love them. It means that you love yourself enough to realize the toxicity they bring and that seeps into your heart. Their bitterness and anger, leaves you feeling bitter and angry and prevents you from what God wants you to have. Distance is key to removing that bitterness and anger. It also tells them that even though you love them, you will not let them destroy you. There is a song by Reba McEntire and Trisha Yearwood called, "She Save Him" that makes me t

that makes me think of Toxic people. We can't save them. No matter how much we want to, we can't.

Pray for them, yes, Let them in, no. Also, when you let go, don't do so in anger, Don't make a hard situation worse, by using words in anger and frustration. Walk away, but make sure that there is a way back when/if they change.

As I write this, I am not angry or bitter, I am just coming to the realization that its time to let go of those that whether intentionally or unintentionally, harm myself or my children in any negative way, I need to protect them more than I need to protect myself. Same goes for you.

So here I will sit, drinking my coffee and contemplating the best way to let go.

Until the next Scribble....