Non-New Years Resolutions

Who doesn't love the start of a new year? Reminiscing about the ups and downs of the previous year and looking forward to the unwritten story of the upcoming year about to begin. I love the celebrations of new beginnings and the new year is no exception. Kissing the one you love at midnight and praying for the year that is about to start. It's exciting, it's new and best of all we get to experience it all with the wonder and amazement that accompanies the unknown. What I don't like...New Year's Resolutions.  I love the new year. I love reminiscing about the ups and downs of the year that is about to end and look forward to the blank slate yet to be filled, of the new year about to start. A new year is an unwritten story just waiting to be read. I alway ponder what will happen in the upcoming year. What I don't like is New Year's Resolutions.

Creating resolutions for the new year always seems like a way to set yourself up to fail. Here is what a typical New Year's Resolution list looks like:

lose weight

make more money

buy a new car

buy a new house

spend more time with family

spend less money

exercise more

eat healthier

forgive those who wrong me

get closer to God

Go to Disneyland

Move

fall in love

get married

....

Creating a New Year's Resolution list is like setting yourself up for failure in the New Year...at the beginning of the year. It is like a list of failures about to happen. Who wants that? Here are a list of things that we write on our resolution list; things that we hope we can change:

lose wight

move

fall in love 

buy a new (fill in the blank) 

write a book 

learn to cook

learn to knit

learn to (fill in the blank) 

Spend more time praying

Spend more time with family

work less

work more 

find a job

earn more money

socialize more 

start a savings account 

make amends with family 

pray more 

read my bible more 

go to church 

exercise 

eat healthier 

....

Who can do all those things in one year? When I hear people say, "I am going to fall in love this year" I think "how?" You can't make yourself fall in love with someone, trust me we have all tried and failed. Love isn't something you can put on a list of things to accomplish in a year. It just happens, when it is supposed to happen. In fact, all these things are things that happen when they are supposed to happen. When God's timing says they will happen. 

Here is what I am planning to do instead of a new years resolution. I am making a prayer list of the things I want to change. I am going to write a bible verse next to each one and stand on that verse for that item on the list. I am not going to say, I want this to happen this year, I am going to say, "Lord this is my list of things I want changed in my life, in my family and I am giving this list to You. You who is our provider, healer, dream fulfiller. You whose word says in Matthew 6:26-34 (or your own verse), that You are our provider, but we need to have faith in You. Faith in Your love for us. I give this list to You and put my faith and my trust in You and in Your word," This is what I am going to do, create a prayer list. I am not going to put a date on when these items need to happen by, because God's timing is so much better than our's could ever be. 

It is not because we want change that change happens, it because we want change and we trust in God and pray to God for change to happen that it happens. Let's make a prayer list and give to God who wants to help us with our changes. Let's pray over 2015 instead of making a list of changes and putting a date next to them. 

Yes it is still a list and it is still a list of things we want changed in our life, but we can't do it on our own. Well we can, but I promise you the outcome will not be as good as what it will be with God helping us. There is nothing we can't do with God on our side, but there is so much we will miss out on, if we try to go about it on our own! :) 

Until the Next Scribble.........

Faith....Hope....Love

Faith...Hope...Love

1 Cor 13:4-7

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. 

    Love is never easy, but it is always worth it. It is never perfect and I heard a song the other day on the radio called, Broken Together by Casting Crowns, that reminds me just how imperfect it really is. It is about a couple that is already married, but it seemed so fitting to me. 

    No relationship is without its issues. The question is, are you willing to put in the time and the effort it takes to make it work. To keep those promises you made or will make. I am not married, but I know the one that God has for me, it is just going to take time. Time I am willing to put in. This song reminds me that our relationship is never perfect, but it has stood through a lot. For now we are just friends, and that is okay. God's time is the best time. 

God's time is the best time. 

    I can't tell you what to do in your own relationship, but I can tell you that nothing worth holding onto will ever be easy to hold onto. Will I be said if for some reason, this friendship never goes where I want it to go? Absolutely. Will I still love God if it doesn't? Absolutely. My faith is in knowing that God's plan for me is the perfect plan for me. 

     Here is what else I know, I know that through all the trials with other girls, and the fights we have had (even as friends) and the many trials satan has thrown at us, nothing can come between what God brought together...unless we let it. I won't let it. I have a journal I just started the other day that is solely a daily prayer written strictly for the two of us. Maybe it's silly, but it is also comforting and it is also a daily fight against satan's plan to destroy it. One day, maybe, I will let him read it. 

    Matthew 19:6 says, "Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together." No we are not married, but we are two, because God has put us together. I know we are not ready, neither one of us, to be together, we are continually putting down the foundation. I will pray everyday for what I know what God has planned! I stand on this verse in prayer everyday since I started this journal. 

     We have a time of separation coming up, which I know we need. I also know that even during this time, he is meant for me. Love hopes all things, believes all things and about all has faith that God will pull all things together for His glory. During this time, I need to work on me and that is what I am going to do. 

     In the song, Broken Together, the line says, "maybe you and I were never meant to be complete. Can we just be broken together." How beautiful is that? We both have dreams that were shattered by divorce and hurt and we both have walls. Mine are just more evident than his. Love is not a fairy tale woven together with fairies and fairy Godmothers, but it is a story woven together by God. Much better than any fairy tale. 

God's story is much better than any fairy tale. 

     So, what is the purpose of this particular blog? Hope. Hope in love and Faith in God. It is trusting him and knowing that He has the answers and the timing. He holds the key to the desires in our heart. This man means more to me than I can say with mere words. He keeps me grounded and makes me laugh. He irritates me, frustrates me and makes me smile all at the same time. 

      If you are already married, planning to get married or even if like me, you know, but haven't yet begun, trust God. Keep fighting for what you know God has planned for you. Here is a little secret though, anything God puts together, you don't have to fight for. He already has won that battle. Remember, you don't have to be complete, just together be broken. In time, everything works out. It won't be perfect, but it will be worth it.

     The verses I stand on daily are: 

Psalms 37:4Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desire. 

Matthew 19:6Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together. 

Romans 8:28 

 "and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."

    The last verse in 1 Cor 13 is, "Three things last forever - faith, hope and loves - the greatest of these is love. Love is the most important, but you can't have love without faith and with hope. You can't have any of these without God. Faith in God. Hope in God and Love for God. o when your relationship hits a rough spot, turn to God. Trust Him that He will work it out for you.  

Until the next Scribble.......

Ready....Set....G....

Ready....Set....G....

     You are all set. You know the plan in your head, and you have everything ready to go, but the moment it is time to go, something stops you. Suddenly that well thought out plan doesn't seem so well thought out. Your not sure the details are right, you're not sure that everything will work out. You sit down and question all the decisions you made that led you to this door. This door that suddenly you can't open. 

     I know this feeling. I know it all to well and I can tell you that, this kind of thinking will get you no where fast. Fear. This is what stops you and fear is not of God, it is from satan. I had things ready, I was set to go and the kids were even on board with this move and suddenly I couldn't do it. What had seemed like a sure thing, a good thing and the best thing, suddenly seemed like the worst thing. I couldn't do it. All these doubts started creeping in. What if I can't do it? What if I fail? What if...what if...what if... The moment I started to doubt, everything fell apart. I didn't know and I wasn't sure. I didn't trust God to provide. 

     Romans 8:28 says, "and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them." God is our provider and we need to trust in Him and know that He is for us not against us. He wants us to succeed and to prosper. Not to fail, Satan wants us to fail. As a certain preacher I know says in his testimony (it is amazing and everyone should hear it), "Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy". This is satan's plan for us not God's. 

    The other night during a weekly movie night with this certain preacher, we were watching the Giver and I made a comment about how the person's view was a little pessimistic and this certain

preacher looked at me and asked how often I was optimistic. This certain preacher knows me pretty well. Honestly I am more optimistic than I let on, and this was my reply. We need to be inwardly and outwardly optimistic, but we also need to know when God is telling us to go and when he is telling us to sit still.

    Psalms 37:5 says, "commit everything you do to the Lord and He will help you." Amen! The biggest thing we need and it only needs to come in the smallest form; a mustard seed, is faith. Jesus said in Matthew 17:20, "You don't have enough faith. I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." Do you have mustard seed faith? I know this something I struggle with daily. I know in my head, God can move mountains, and He will provide and He can provide, I need to cement it in my heart too. 

     My prayer for today is for God to help me with my faith. I don't need proof He exists, I know He does. I see Him every time I look at my children. In the rain that falls and in the sun that shines. I see Him in the smile of the homeless lady I give a Starbucks coffee and Santa cookie too every year. (I only ever see her at Christmas time). I seem Him in a certain preacher when he smiles. I know in my mind and my heart that God exists, now I need to know in my heart that He will provide the way and the means, even if I can't see them. 

Ready....Set....Go!

     There may be a lot of unknowns, but I know that with God I can do this. I can make this move and everything, even a certain preacher, will fall into place in God's time. I may not know what the future holds for me, I may not see the exact ways it will all fall into place, but my Faith in Him will make it happen. God will make it all work out for His glory.  So I say to you, GO! Don't hesitate like I did. I am not hesitating this time! We are going and God will provide for us! This I know in my heart and in my mind.

Until the next Scribble.....

Toxic People

Good Morning.

Here is my little corner of the world, it is cold, dark and rainy. I find this fitting, as it goes with my current mood. Not that I am sad, or even angry, just contemplative. Have you ever pondered what to do about the toxic people in your life? Sure you love them, but do you need them there? Should you keep them there? It is hard to tell someone that you can't be around them, whether it be due to drugs, alcoholism or just their every day way of being.

As I sit here with a heavy heart trying to decide what to do, I open my bible. God will tell us what we need to know, if we listen to Him. I once read an article that said God brings people into our lives to benefit us, help us and to even guide us, but so does Satan except he doesn't want to help us, he wants to destroy us.

Sitting in church yesterday, the pastor said something to me that caught my attention, He said, "Wake up and smell the coffee," Now he was talking about letting down your guard and opening the door to let him in. That we need more of Him and less of the world. He also asked what was preventing us from opening the door. James 1:8 says, "Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do." Our loyalty needs to be with God, not with the world and not to the toxic people in our life.

I can admit that I have a guard around my heart where people are concerned, but these guards that we build don't just block out people. So my question is, who are the toxic people in your life? What do we do about these people?

Some people are harder to let go of than others. Let's take a substance addicted parent or family member as an example. You love them, but they can barely love themselves. You want to help them, but at some point you have to realize you can't. You can't make someone get the help you know they need. They have to want help. I can't tell you want to do, but I can tell you that you need to let them go. They affect you.

How? They help you keep your guard up. They hurt you and don't even realize they do. They attack your children, children they are supposed to love and who are supposed to feel safe around. Remember, emotional attacks are just as hurtful and painful as physical ones. Letting go, doesn't mean you hate them or no longer love them. It means that you love yourself enough to realize the toxicity they bring and that seeps into your heart. Their bitterness and anger, leaves you feeling bitter and angry and prevents you from what God wants you to have. Distance is key to removing that bitterness and anger. It also tells them that even though you love them, you will not let them destroy you. There is a song by Reba McEntire and Trisha Yearwood called, "She Save Him" that makes me t

that makes me think of Toxic people. We can't save them. No matter how much we want to, we can't.

Pray for them, yes, Let them in, no. Also, when you let go, don't do so in anger, Don't make a hard situation worse, by using words in anger and frustration. Walk away, but make sure that there is a way back when/if they change.

As I write this, I am not angry or bitter, I am just coming to the realization that its time to let go of those that whether intentionally or unintentionally, harm myself or my children in any negative way, I need to protect them more than I need to protect myself. Same goes for you.

So here I will sit, drinking my coffee and contemplating the best way to let go.

Until the next Scribble....

Dear Kim....(A letter to Kim Kardashian)

NH

Dear Kim K,

     Congratulations. You have gained your popularity on immorality. Not once I have seen you online, on TV or in print, for something good or moral that you have chosen to do. Not only did you "break the internet" you gave woman a bad name. As a mother, I am appalled at the example you are setting for your child, and for all girls around the world. 

     My heart breaks for the child you brought into this world. A child who will see their mother parading around her best asset as her naked body, when a woman's best asset should be her mind and her heart. Your child didn't get to pick her parents, just as you did not either. I don't know what made you become the broken woman you are today, and my heart breaks for you as well. 

    There are so many of us women who work hard to teach our daughters morality, to value themselves as woman, and not as sexual objects. Woman who strive to do the right thing and who work hard to make a living doing things that their children can respect. Helping out in the community, going to church, spending quality time with our families and working to make an honest living. I don't disrespect woman in your profession who still hold on to their dignity by not posing for inappropriate photos. Candace Cameron is an actress, a mother, and wife who still holds on to her dignity by not posing nude, not playing roles that are inappropriate and parading around claiming her body as her best asset. 

     The female body is a beautiful thing, as are all things God created. However, it is not for the world to see. It is supposed to be saved for your husband and your husband alone. Not the world. Not for every household to view and certainly nor for young girls to be seeing and thinking it is okay to pose this way. 

     I hope someday you grow up and realize that as a mother, your behavior and your actions matter, not only to you, but to your child. Have some respect for you, your body and your child. You don't need my approval or anyone else's but perhaps you seek God's approval and not the worlds. 

Sincerely, 

A concerned mother with impressionable daughters 

Straight Ahead

Why do we continually look backwards? Are we looking for clues that we missed? For signs that we didn't do something that we should have? Perhaps there is something we are looking for that gives us hope for the future? Whatever it is, there nothing in the past that we need today. The answers we seek, we are not going to find by continually revisiting stuff that we have already gone through. Yes we learned lessons as we went through these lessons life threw at us, but what we learned we take with us.

I was reminded today, that there is nothing in my past that is worth revisiting. It only causes us pain and heartache. It leaves us feeling lethargic and longing for something we didn't need then and we certainly do not need now. The past recently knocked on my door and for a moment my heart wanted to say what my brain was telling me wasn't real anymore. I knew before the knock that what I left behind was to stay behind, but for a brief moment, I wanted that time back. For a brief second, I wanted to erase the pain I felt these last few months and the heartache that I had endured for a few months.

Let me tell you something ladies, Satan tries to keep us in the past instead of where we should be looking...straight ahead. Yes, some of the lessons hurt, but God will lead us through the hurt into a better tomorrow. I struggled with a decision, I wrote in my journal: "Satan will NOT win this". I told a friend no to his visit, and then the next thing I know, yesterday was knocking on my door. Yesterday, that I had thought about constantly for months, but had not seen or heard from.

Isaiah 43:18 - But forget all that - it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. 

Amen! God will do bigger and better things in our future, He is done with our past! We don't need to dwell on our past. We don't need to revisit something (or someone) which will only bring us heartache and sorrow. Learn from the past, but don't dwell in it. Look straight ahead to the future God is promising you, if you will only follow Him. Trust Him to lead you where you need to be and not where you wish you had been. Don't chase a past that will go nowhere and has already gone nowhere.

Proverbs 4:25-27 - Look straight ahead and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don't get side tracked; keep your feet from following evil.

Does it get any clearer than that? Is dwelling in the past evil? I can tell you this, it is not good and what is not good, does not come from God. What is in the past is heartache, lessons already learned, doors that were closed and locked and this is all stuff that comes from Satan trying to prove us wrong. He wants us to believe that we need those doors unlocked in order to prevent God from working his will in our lives. Don't let Satan unlock a door you have already closed. Leave it closed and leave it in the past, where it belongs. Look straight ahead, stay on that path that has been marked for you by a God who loves you and who only wants what is best for you. Don't let the past sidetrack you from the brighter and better future. Lean on God. Trust in God and for your own benefit, follow God!

Until the next Scribble....

The Family Dinner Table

I love setting the table. Finding the right table cloth (if needed), place mats, dishes, glasses and even creating theme dinners with my kids. (Something I have not done in a long time). There is something so profound about cooking a meal, sitting at the table with your family and having a conversation about the days events, or whatever you all feel like talking about. It is a peaceful way to end the day.

The family dinner table is symbolic, I think. It shows that family comes first and this table will hold so many memories in the future. It saddens me when I think of how many family dinners we have missed since I got divorced and it no longer seemed important. What I am realizing is that it is important. Family is the most important and I have a renewed sense of this importance. The family dinner table has become my new focus. I am spending insane amounts of time on Pinterest looking for the perfect table idea. There are some many styles, ideas and concepts surrounding tables that it is hard to choose just one.

I want one that is special to my family. I want one that will last and that possibly my grandchildren will sit at. It has to be perfect to me. Perhaps it something I will have to make, or perhaps I will find it somewhere. All I know is that in today's messed up world we need to make the family unit more important that it has been. We need to surround ourselves in ea
ch other and make our children know that time with them is important and that we need them too.

Good meal and your favorite people! 

We need to make this a priority. We need to. The dinner table is a time to reflect and have conversation. No cell phones, no television, no electronics what-so-ever, should be present. Just good ol' conversation and people. This has been on my mind a lot lately (Hence he need to write this blog). I just see so much awful stuff on the news and it breaks my heart. We don't know how much time we have with each other, but it is time that counts. We need to put family at the top of our priority list, not at the bottom. Our kids are growing up, and when they are gone I want them to know that they are loved and to have these precious memories (even though I am sure they are going to fight me on this) of us eating together and being together as a family. I feel so disconnected from my children lately, with all the each of us have going on and I want that to change.

It all starts with one of these and go from there!

Let's bring the fun back to dinner and eating. Make theme dinner nights, say grace, read a bible scripture, have fun with it. I am going to post this blog every Tuesday. Each blog I write on Tuesday (or at least the main one) will be in regards to the Family Dinner Table. New ideas, maybe new kid friendly recipes etc... I am also going to post this on my other blog Simply Chic, because I do believe this is important and God is telling me to put my family first and to come back to the table.

I know that it is unrealistic to make it an every night thing, but I am going to make it a priority and Sunday nights are going to be mandatory family dinner together night. I will work on making more nights, but this is a first start. Sundays in this family are going to be about family.

Married at First Sight

     We have all done the dating thing at one point or another. We have gone out for coffee, signed up for dating sites and planned dinners out. We take great pains picking out what we are going to wear and what we are going to do with our hair, how our make-up is going to look and then we head out the door only to be stood up or disappointed. 

     Finding that one person who is only meant for you is ridiculously hard. In fact it makes painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel look easy. If we do start to date someone, it is so easy to give up on someone we should probably stay with. "I didn't like what she said", (or in some cases didn't say), "He never puts the toilet seat down" and the excuses go on. Who likes anyone 100% of the time? Uh, that would be no one. Breaking up is so easy to do and commitment, real commitment takes work and effort on both sides. Even marriage is not sacred in our society anymore. Get married, try it out and if you don't like it get divorced. Then comes the television series, Married at First Sight. 

     I admit that at first I was a bit skeptical of the show. I watched it because from a psychological point of view the idea interested me. We have all heard about arranged marriages in other countries and they are popular in some cultures. To have this idea in America seemed a bit odd and intriguing to me. I pictured a bunch of desperate people wanting to find love so badly that they would do anything to find it. I can relate in some ways. Dating sucks. 

     What I found was interesting. The show did not make a mockery of marriage, like a lot of people thought it would. Personality tests and other questionnaires were used in order to match the couples up with one another. They didn't just throw random people together in order to make a show. They took their time and made sure that the people they were putting together were right for each other. 

     David Hinckley writes on the New York Daily News, stated, "human relationships are rarely something you can quantify on paper. Sorry. You just can’t." I would agree with him to some extent. Science and psychology are not enough to make a marriage or a relationship work. What I do believe though, is that with this new perspective on marriage, one might commit to working at something if they have to. While the show does give the option for divorce, I watched three couples try to make something where a few days ago there was nothing, not even a name. They struggled with their issues, emotions and pasts. 

     Jamie and Doug had the most to overcome. Jaime who thought she was ready for this, realized on her wedding day that she was scared and she was not attracted to Doug. She shows us that if you are willing to commit to making something work, you can succeed. She teaches us that marriage is worth fighting for, even when you don't know the person that well. (Let's face it, do we really know the person we are marrying after dating them for years?) This couple as overcame and had the hardest amount of work to do. I also like that Jaime didn't just jump in and have sex with her husband, though she could have, she waited until she was sure she was in this forever. In fact when I was watching the finale and Jaime said she was staying, I yelled, "YES" at the top of my lungs and literally fell off the couch! I was sure she was gone. 

     Monet and Von proved to us that this won't work for everyone. Monet realized that she was more independent that she originally thought and while she wants to be married, she was the kind of wife that Von was looking for. He wanted the traditional marriage (I can relate that is the same type of marriage I am looking for). Women come in all different shapes and sizes and even thinking. Not everyone wants a traditional marriage, even though many think they do at first. I give her a lot of credit for learning more about who she is and what she wants. I give Von credit too. It takes a lot to admit that maybe you didn't put your whole self into it and to know what you want. They were a cute couple though, I will give you that. 

     Courtney and Jason are simply adorable. They had the least amount of work, because they hit it off so well. This is not to say that they didn't work for it. Courtney fought for her man, something we should all do. She committed herself to this marriage and she was in it for the long haul. I knew this couple would stay together. They have a long road ahead of them as all couples do, but I think that this couple is together to stay. 

     Would I do this? I think I would, if I didn't have 4 children. I think having children in this process would make things a bit more difficult, on the other hand if both sides had children, it might make it even more worth fighting for. Dating brings out to many fake sides of each other and sometimes reality does not hit until you are married. You think, "woah who is this monster I married and what happened to the roses and the sweet little things they did?" In this experiment they got it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. There was no hiding it. 

     Here is the bottom line of my opinion, (I would love to do more research on the psychological and scientific aspect of this concept). If you are willing to put in the time, amazingly amount of hard work, and be open and honest with not only the other person, but yourself, then you can make it work, whether you have dated for years, a day or met at the alter. This show gives us a new perspective on marriage and relationships and it proves that nothing will work if the people in it are not in it for the long haul. 

     For me personally, I want a marriage that honors both people committed to it and one that honors God. Marriage is a commitment and a sacrifice. It is putting the needs of the one you love above yours at times and it is being there for better or worse. It is remembering the promise you made to each other to be there in the good times and the bad, to hold each others hand even if you don't always feel like it. It is knowing that no matter what happens, you have someone there who loves you and is going through this with you. At the end of the day I want someone who will pray with me, read the bible with me and know that I am not perfect and I am going to make mistakes, but who is willing to stay anyway. That is what marriage is. 
     

Lets Talk Nudity, Hacking and Privacy....

Okay ladies (and even men),

Over the past few days the news has been talking about nude photos celebrities had on their cloud (what is the cloud anyway? Does anyone really know?) that have been hacked into and published. Is this news? Yes, because Apple's cloud network has been hacked into and that is a security risk for millions of people who store information and pictures on there. Is it news because celebrities are having their nude photos sold? Maybe.

Here is my take on this:

If you don't want your pictures to get leaked, then don't put them on your computer, cloud drive, hard drive, USB stick or even leave them on the SD card in your phone or camera. Better yet....don't take them! If you don't take them, they can't get publicized. Easy Peasy! Celebrities already know they are targets for this kind of stuff, so why put it out there where it can get hacked into? Like Miley Cyrus and her twerking...just don't do it!

Now ladies, the female body is amazing is capable of amazing and beautiful things...such as child birth, but it is not meant to be shown off to the public. In this case they didn't mean for the public or anyone else's eyes to see these, but in today's world of technology, cyber hacking and identity theft, one should know not to put these kinds of things on their cloud.

Today we lack morality. We feel that sex is free to give to anyone and everyone. Showing off our bodies nude, or in provocative poses is not only okay is expected and seen as being proud of one's body. Let me tell you what, you can be proud of your body and keep your clothes on! You can be sexy and still be covered up. In fact ladies, the more left to the imagination, the better. I have even been told by guys that a girl who respects herself and keeps herself covered is a lot sexier than showing off your nude body.

Can you take sexy photos for your spouse? Absolutely, but perhaps keep private areas covered, especially if you are going to store them on your computer or heaven forbid your cloud! Personally I wouldn't want any naked photos of myself floating around my home, computer, phone or cyberspace, but hey that is just me. No photos, no opportunities for anyone to find them.

Here is the next issue, privacy should be respected and boundaries shouldn't be crossed. I know that there are those that feel celebrities have no right to privacy, but they would be wrong. Everyone has a right to privacy in their own private lives. They get to choose what parts of their lives they want to make public, not hackers who feel it is their own right to invade the privacy of others and post personal pictures for all to see or even to sell. This is stealing and you are selling illegal gained property that is not yours to sell. For whoever is going to end up buying these photos, you are buying stolen property, which in my opinion should be a felony (and I am pretty sure this is, but I'd have to look it up to be sure) and they should get the maximum time in prison. Not only did they steal property that didn't belong to them, they invaded the privacy of others and hacked into a corporations cloud. (I know sounds silly right, hacking into a cloud?)

Ask yourself the next time you decide you want to take nude photos, do you want anyone to potentially see them? If the answer is no, then don't do it! Simple. If you want to take them, keep them between you and your spouse, do it on a camera and delete them...:)

Don't Give Up!

Good Morning! Today is a gift and we are not guaranteed that there is a tomorrow. This is a text that I sent a friend of mine this morning. It is so true though! God gave us today, but until we wake up tomorrow we are not guaranteed tomorrow. He knows the day, the time, the second that our lives will end. We don't get a second longer than that.

Faith can be a struggle at times and it can be hard to hold on to your faith when it all seems like nothing is going your way. We watch those we love make dumb decisions, even when they know better. It sucks. Trust me I know. The last couple days have been really hard for me to walk in love, hold on to my faith and keep my hope. We all struggle and the good news is God knows our struggles and He knows how hard we fight to hold on to the little faith we have.

Yesterday, I wanted to give up. I wanted to just stop praying, stop believing that it is all going to work out and that what I have been praying for is just not going to happen. The thing is that the more Satan throws temptations in your way, the more you know you are headed the right way. Satan wants you to stop believing, stop having faith and he wants to ultimately destroy your hope.

My bible is full of underlined passages that pertain to my current prayers and today while I was praying and reading my bible I came to:

1 Corinthians 13:7- Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. Love never gives up! Never loses faith! Always Hopeful! Endures through every circumstance!!!

Lord knows I want to give up, that I am not strong enough to continue to believe there is an answer to my prayers. Yet I know that with Him, I can do anything and I can hold on to my faith that this will happen, that I will endure through the tough situation I am currently praying for. Let me tell you now that listening to someone you love talk about about what they are going through it NOT easy! It may make you feel like it is impossible. It will hurt. It will suck! Oh how it will suck! Just do it. Listen to them, pray for them, and love them. Love will endure through this circumstance. Hope changes everything! God prevails over all!!

I don't have all the answers, to be honest, I have more questions than answers, but I do know this: if it is in God's will, it WILL happen! Be patient! I will try not to beat this person with a tennis raquet or spit in his pie and you all do the same! :) We will prevail in our situations because we have the greatest weapon of all! Prayer!

Until the Next Scribble.....

Psalms 37:3-7

     This morning found me sitting on the couch praying. I prayed for my kids as well as J and S as I do every morning. Praying for God's will to influence their decisions and for them to be able to make decisions that honor God, themselves and their parents. When I felt compelled to pray for the family of this reporter who had been beheaded and those two who await the same fate. As I was praying I wanted to pray for their captors as well, bit not knowing exactly what to pray for them I prayed for God to know what to do in this situation. Only He knows their true hearts and as we know, Paul was once an enemy and a hater of God and he became one of His greatest followers.
     As I turned to my bible I started to read Psalms 37:3-4 as I do every morning, which says "Trust in the Lord and do good then you will dwell safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your hearts desires." This goes with a specific situation I pray for daily.
     Then I continued to read on and 5-7 says "Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help him. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday Sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes."
     Woah! OK, so this could be why I couldn't find the words to pray for the captors as I could for those two men who are awaiting to have the same fate fall upon them. Maybe it is not for me to worry about the captors who continue to spread their malicious acts and to leave them to God. This does not mean that we should not listen to the news or pay attention to what is happening in our world, for we still need to pray, maybe it is God's way of telling me that evil men and their wicked schemes are for Him to deal with and I should not worry for He is in charge.
     We can also apply this to those annoying individuals that are causing strife in our own lives and situations we are praying for. (Walk in Love, as my aunt tells me) The word "men" can be applied to women as well. So my advice.for today is to pray for your situation and let God be the one to handle the ones causing you strife. I tell my children all the time that if they retaliate against their sibling who hit them first, I can't correct the behavior of the offender because that would be punishing them twice. No double jeopardy in this house. :) The same goes for our heavenly father. His wrath is much greater than anything we can do. So let go and let God...and great things will happen in your life.

Until the next Scribble....

Proverbs 31: 10-31 Pt.1

As women, (sorry men I can't speak for you on this one), we struggle don't we? To be everything to everyone and when we do this, we struggle. We try to put on the garments of perfection, something we know can't be obtained, because to be human is to be imperfect. So why do we try to be something we know we can't?

Tonight, as with most nights, I read Proverbs 31:10-31 The Virtuous Woman (or in the NLT: A Wife of Noble Character). This passage always gets to me, because on the outside, without delving deeper into it, she seems like the perfect wife, mother and person. She seems to be something we strive for but can never obtain. But what happens when we inspect it and we dig deeper into this passage?

10: Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. (NLT)

What does this mean to you? To me, it means to simply be there for your husband, make him the only one you turn to and never turn to any other man over your husband. I pray this is the kind of wife I will be, when the day comes that I am a wife again. No one should come above, before or even after, your husband, except of course God. Being virtuous means to be faithful and to have high morals. Keep this close to you and honor your husband.

What does this mean if you are single (after all this is a blog written by a single mom and for single parents right?) Well let me tell you what I think that it means. I think it means that we need to strive for and prepare for our future husband. Prepare to be the kind of wife that you want to be in the event you find the one who will be your husband. Live a virtuous life. (This is easier to say than it is to do).

11-12: Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (NLT)

This should be simple right?! Trust is not easily fixed, and should never be broken, but it happens. Can it be repaired? I believe it can, if done in the right context. If you are trying to fix a relationship (and this can go for dating as well) and trust is broken early on, then maybe its a sign of what is to come and maybe it is a way to work out the major kinks before marriage. My theory and again this only my opinion and it could be wrong, but if it you are just dating and trust is an issue, maybe it is best to move on. Life is too short to keep repeating mistakes you made in the past. Marriage is going to take a lot of work and you both are going to say and do things that will hurt each other. As a wife, it is our goal to try our best to not hurt the person we love. It is our duty to love him and to be there and to help him, not harm him. Can your husband trust you? Does he know that without a doubt you are his and his alone? Does he know that you will do whatever it takes to keep him in your life. You will fight the devil (and you may have to, whether it be spiritual or in human form) to keep him. Sounds simple, but some days it will exhaust you, but it will always be worth it.

In verses 15-17 she is working to keep her home running and her family taken care of. She is preparing meals, taking care of business, and keeping her home the way she sees fit and in a way that honors God, her husband, herself and her children. Now as a mom you know how hard this is and at the end of the day we just want nothing more than to just fall into bed and end the day, except K needs help finishing her homework or M is throwing up in the bathroom and needs his mommy. Sometimes it seems like our days never end and we keep on doing. It is a gift to be able to do this, believe it or not.

16: She goes to inspect a field and buys it (NLT)

I know you are looking at this and thinking, "why does God want me to buy a field?" "I live in the city, what do I need a field for? Where would I even get one?" Well I don't believe that his is actually talking about buying a field. Look deeper...delve into the meaning behind considering a field and then buying it. As women we take on more than we can handle, because we feel compelled to be everything to everyone. I know this all to well, as many of you do too. What are you contemplating? Taking on a new task? A new job? A big move? In my bible I wrote this next to this verse, "Before taking on new tasks, consider how they affect you and your family. Do you have the time?" Saying no does not come easily to me. I want to help those who need it, even if I just don't have the time, and I know I don't. Just recently there is a situation that needs help, and I know in my heart that all I can do is pray. I don't have the time to do this, even though part of me wants to do it. Consider how what you are about to do or take on will affect those around you. Your kids, your husband, your family. If they are negatively affected in anyway, its not meant for you to do. However, if it is a God-given task, like Peter in Acts, do it and don't ask questions. If it is God-given, He will make it work. Consider before you buy.


Tomorrow, I will discuss the next section. The thing to remember is that while perfection seems like something we need to be striving for, what we need to be striving for is the only one that is perfect...God. As Philippians 4:13 tells us, we can do all things through Christ who is our strength. As I write this blog, I know I am preparing myself as well as digging deeper into God's word. Sometimes I think we take for granted those we love the most. We tell ourselves there is always tomorrow. We have time they can wait. Then we wake up tomorrow and find they are no longer there waiting for us.

As I write this, I struggle with a situation of my own. All I can do is pray that everything works out according to God's will. I gave up for awhile and I didn't trust God enough to handle this situation. In the end, I know if I lose, it is my fault for not trusting in God. Our relationships are never going to be easy and God does not promise us easy. So as I end this here for now, I pray that it is not too late and that even right now as it all seems lost, I have hope and hope can change everything. I pray that whatever you are struggling with right now, God gives you direction and patience. His timing and His will are far better than what we can do on our own. So be a virtuous woman and be a woman you would like to know.

Until the next Scribble....

Joy in the Morning!

     I am not a natural morning person. Give or take two or more cups of coffee and I am ready to go. However, that being said, there is something peaceful and quintessential about the morning. I was having a conversation this morning via text with a friend of mine and as I said, "Good Morning, it is a great day." His reply was, "Is it?"

    Absolutely it is. As a mother, evenings can be frustrating and it can be hard to find that inner calm when your seven year old is biting his brother and all you want to do is pull your hair out and cry. Psalms 30:5 says -" ....Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning." (NLT) How awesome is that? No matter what may trouble us the night before, relationship issues, aggravating children, that dreaded homework assignment you keep putting off. What ever it is, come the morning it is all in the past. It is a distant memory. Joy comes in the morning. The joy in knowing that God chose to wake you up this morning and each morning that He chooses to do so.

     My friend, the comedian that he thinks he is, sent me this picture of a cat. Ahh, but W, I beg to differ, there is such a thing as a Good Morning! There is, if you choose to wake up and say it's a good morning. The thing is that there is no guarantee that we will wake up in the morning and there is not even a guarantee that it will be a perfect day.

    It's a brand new day and God is giving us another day to spend loving our families, praising Him and to live life. What better way to say, "Thank you," than to wake up and and praise Him, the God who gave us life and who created us in His image? We are blessed because we woke up this morning.

     Yes, the problems of yesterday may be still with us, we woke up in the same frustrating situation, the same un-perfect body, the same house we want out of, but we woke up! We get another day and another chance to do something with this life that had we not woken up this morning...well then perhaps you might be able to say it is not a good day. Don't let your problems become so overwhelming and important that it makes your morning less joyful.

     None of us has the perfect life, but we have life and that is what matters. That is what counts when you wake up in the morning. Make today count. Take your little one who was aggravating you to see a movie, or go for ice cream with your children. Do something that says, Yes my world is not perfect, but I can take joy in the little things. We can either dwell on the issues that plague us, or we can take wonder in the beauty of this world (yes there is still beauty in this world, all you have to do is look!).

    My friend has 2 amazing children, he has people that love him and a God who has brought him through many challenges that for most of us, we would find it hard to go on. Yet he is still here, praising God and telling people who will listen, just how awesome and great our God truly is. It is the blessings in our life that enable us to find joy in the morning. Blessings that are God given. All you have to do is look around you to know that God is there. He is there in the sun shining through the window and he is there in the gloomy days of winter. No matter what your situation, if you woke up today, it is not just a good morning, it is a great morning!!!

   

Chase Life, Live life

There is something about the ocean that makes you pause. Unless of course you are M and you throw yourself right into it! As I watched my little man playing and being carefree, I thought about many things. This week has given me a lot to consider. There is a calm that comes from staring at something so powerful and daunting.

As I sat on the beach, watching M and contemplating the one thing that confuses me the most....Me, I realized that life is not only short, but that we spend so much time in self-preservation mode that we forget the one thing that no one wants to thing about. We are trying to preserve something that will in the end perish. We spend so much time trying to race the clock, develop the perfect life, the perfect relationship and to be something we are not. We guard the one thing that we should set free. Ourselves.

I am the queen of guarding myself. It is a fact and it is done in self-preservation. We think, we can't handle this break up, or the loss of that job. We think that we are protecting ourselves from getting hurt, when the truth is we are hurting ourselves.

How? Let me tell you how. By guarding our hearts, we push people away. Some people come in our lives for a short time, kind of like a passerby, glimpsing into the windows of the life we have built, but we have surrounded it in curtains so that no one can see in. Some people are meant to stay and share in the wonder that is our lives and make it better, these are the ones we have slightly opened the curtain for. Some people insert themselves in our lives to be closer to us, to try to cling on to the little shred of us that they desire, and we know that we should push them away, but for some crazy reason, we push away the ones that should stay. So in the end, we don't live, we survive. We don't chase life, we chase loneliness and isolation

How did I get all that from watching the ocean?

It was more so a combination of the ocean and watching M's childlike innocence at the wonder and beauty of the world. Carelessly, without caution, throwing himself into the unknown waters of a raging ocean. Innocently exploring every little aspect of the sand, the things he found and just playing.

This week I have seen the ocean from a beach in San Francisco and some cliffs in Mendocino, and each spot gave me this immense feeling of calm and peacefulness. This is amazing to me in so many ways, one being that I hate water. (Yeah I know, weird). Each spot held a beauty words can't describe and made me want to stay.

So instead of doing my norm of sitting down, watching the scenery and letting it pass without participating
, I joined M in his playing in the water, inspecting the things he found and even writing our names in the sand. Which is another lesson the ocean taught me. As the tide came in and the water erased our names I had written in the sand, I realized that nothing is permanent, even us. We are passerby's in this life and we can leave it by having scraped by and missed out on every opportunity, every perspective relationship, or starting a new adventure and creating new beginnings or we can live it, experience it and feel it.

Sure we are going to get our hearts broken, we are going to get hurt, and we are going to experience things that are not so fun. It's not living if we don't.

As of now, I am going to participate in my own life. Are you willing to do the same? I am going to let down my guard (OK this is not going to be an instant and probably about as fun as drinking instant coffee...ick), I am going to start living my life instead of preserving it.

Now I am not saying don't be careful who you date or to go sky diving (unless you have no fear and really want to). I am saying ,don;t be so guarded that when the right person comes along, the right job lands in your lap you let it pass on by our of fear and self-preservation. Do you really have a choice?

Until the next Scribble.....

Stinking Thinking

We are all guilty of it, and we do it every day. It's vicious cycle that we get into and it eats at us and eventually we believe it. It's a little voice in your head that talks to you, and for some reason we let it continue and it festers and grows and it becomes something we don't even really recognize. It is stinking thinking. I heard this phrase in church today and it stuck with me and I realized, I do this...we all do.

Today as I sat in church I listened to the pastor, I prayed, I gave my concerns to God and I sang. As I was taking my notes and listening to the pastor, his words really hit home, but not as much as the phrase stinking thinking. A feeling of peace always comes over me as I sit in church and today was no exception. However, when I got home that feeling left. As I entered the door, this feeling of dread and hopelessness hit me and then the irritation took over and as words I would not be able to take back, almost flew out of my mouth, I heard the phrase stinking thinking.

Living with someone who is always negative is no easy task and today for the first time, I realized that no only has this negative feeling affected my way of thinking and even behaving, it has done the same thing to my children. I am quick to get angry and slow to forgive and God does not want this for us. It is hard to take a good hard look at ourselves, especially if we are wrong.

As I walked into the house today, I felt the negativity like a weighted blanket falling over me. I realized that stinking thinking is weighing my family down. Snide remarks and evil thoughts are not what we are suppose to hold on to. So what do we do? Can we change our stinking thinking?

The first thing I plan to do tonight, is pray. Pray for God to change my thoughts and help me to realize that there are things I need to change so I can change our address. I have been thinking this move is hopeless and the truth is that it is not, if I change my way of thinking. All the impossibilities of this move are possible if I let God be in control. I know there are many people who think that I am running away, and maybe part of me is, but in reality I am moving for my children. Today it is even clearer to me that we need to move. While I want nothing more than to be away from this house, it was never the reason to move to Maine. It is all about the children getting to be closer to their dad.

I need to let go and let God. Sounds simple, but seriously this is the hardest thing for me to do. I want to be in control, always. If I am in control then I control the outcome, but I learned today that if I let go, God controls the outcome much better than I ever could on my own. Luke 19:10 says, "for the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost." How perfect is this? I have lost sight of God, in my need to be the one in control of my life. My stinking thinking had me so off the path of following God that it seemed like such a long hard climb back.

I am not perfect and I will never claim to be. I am going to make mistakes, and I am going to mess up. Who cares? The people around you? Your family? Guess what, God knows you are going to mess up and He loves you anyway. He will never let you go, even when your stinking thinking has got you so far from Him, you don't think there is away back. He still has you and He will never let you go.

So my challenge is to you all, take a look at what your stinking thinking is costing you and then change it. Take the negative thought that is preventing you from your goal (or whatever it is), and change that thinking to focus on God. When you do, I promise you things will start to happen. One of the things my stinking thinking tells me daily, is that I am not worthy of God's love and since I can't be perfect, He can't and won't love me. Guess what, He loved me (and you) even before our parents knew we were going to exist. He knew who we would grow up to be and what we would accomplish and what we wouldn't. He has gone before us and seen it all and regardless of all the mistakes we were going to make, He loves us unconditionally, stinking thinking and all.

Until the next Scribble.......

Children Left in the Car....STOP!

Imagine felling dizzy, tired, having difficulty breathing and sitting in temperatures 30 to 40 degrees hotter than it is outside on a 100 degree day. Your sweaty, tired, your lungs feeling like they are on fire with every breath you take and your heart is beating so fast and there is nothing you can do to stop any of the symptoms. As an adult, you can get out of the car, as an infant or a toddler strapped into a car, you can't. You are helpless and alone and dying.

Sounds horrible, right? Well this is what happens to many children left in the car while their parents run into the store for a "quick second" . Anyone who watches, listens to or reads the news has read or heard about children dying by being left in the car.

Grabbing a gallon of milk, cigarettes, alcohol, getting your hair done, or any other errand is certainly not worth the life of your child. Nothing is worth risking the life of your child, and I do mean NOTHING!

A mother in Texas went into get her hair cut and left her two small children in the car. A passerby had to smash the window with a hammer in order to try and get the kids out. Even this was proving to be difficult as the mother had not only locked the car, but put the child safety lock on, virtually making it impossible to get the kids out, or even for the kids to get out. A woman had to climb through the window to get them out. Let me just say, that if your hair is so important that you are willing to risk the lives of your children, you don't deserve your children. A broken window is probably going to be the least of her worries.

This is probably the number one preventable death in children every year. It does not have to happen. Take your children with you. As a parent, I do realize that none of us are perfect and getting children in and out of car seats is a pain the butt, but when your child is dead because you didn't want to take a few seconds to undo the car seat or hear the child asking for candy in the store, you will realize how easy it really is to get them in and out. When your beloved child is dead, you will miss that "Mom I want candy. Can I have this? I want that!" Your child will no longer have a voice.

We have all lost our children in a store and panicked that we wouldn't be able to find them. We have all made mistakes, because Guess What?! We are not perfect! Leaving your child alone in a hot car for 7 hours is not a mistake. Leaving your children in the car to get a hair cut is bad judgment, and not a mistake, because you know better.

Are some of these deaths accidental? Probably. There is one case that I recall a few years back, where the dad had the baby, went into work and forgot he had the baby. He was not used to having the baby, it was rare for him to be the one to drop him off at daycare. I know that I run on automatic pilot most mornings, getting back packs together, grabbing coffee, getting 4 kids out the door in a timely manner and then to get to the stuff I have to do. I can see this being an accident, a tragic and useless accident that could have been prevented. A fatal case of distraction and running on auto pilot.

All of these cases are preventable, but they are not all murder. Murder means there was intent behind the action and I don't think the majority of these people meant to kill their children. To the mom who left her children in the car to get a haircut, had your children died, you should definitely have gotten murder charges, your hair is not that important. To those who broke the window, way to go you saved those children. To all parents, please, please, please don't leave your children in the car. To everyone, if you see babies or small children locked in a car, get them out! Break the window, do whatever it takes to get them out!

Older children can get out, even I have ran into the convenience store leaving my 16 year old in the car, but she can get out...and I leave the air conditioner on for her or her siblings, all of whom are old enough to get out of the car on their own. My 7 year old is never left in the car alone. Ever!

Parents, we are not perfect and we live in an imperfect world, but leaving your infants and small children in the car is careless and could have devastating, fatal results that will be hard for you to live with. The death of your precious child or children.

Until the Next Scribble.....

My Little Rant...Caution...Read at Own Risk

            Every day we hear in the news about people illegally crossing the border into the United States, and staying. We hear about illegal immigrants taking our jobs, costing our country a lot of money every day. Now we hear about the plane loads of immigrants that are being shipped around the country and released into our communities…because we don’t have enough criminals to deal with that are homegrown?

            I am not so insensitive that I don’t care about these people who are fleeing their country to try to escape unknown horrors and create a better life. I understand trying to care for and provide for your family. As a mother I can relate to wanting something better and safer for your children. I want the same things for mine.

            So why does this anger me? That is a good question and one I am going to answer. My children were born in Canada. No big deal right? Wrong. Now according to our Constitution, (which is not just some outdated piece of paper), tells me that as an American Citizen, my children are citizens, what the Constitution does not tell you, however, is all the hoops one has to jump through to get them legal to be here. Seriously? You can release a bunch of criminals with homicide and sexual crime convictions into our communities and give them free flights to various places around the country, but I, as an American citizen, have to pay a bunch of money, $600.00 per form (I have 3 children who need this form), in order to be able to get them social security numbers and what not.

            I have a Constitutional right to have my children living in this country, but what do these people have who cross our borders illegally? We know they are never going to show up to their deportation hearings, so why do we bother with hearings?

            Something is not right here.

            I love my country, I just wonder where its priorities are, because obviously it is no longer about the people of this country, if it were, would we be releasing criminals who are illegally in this country into our communities?

            Keep in mind that I am a US citizen. I was born and raised here and then moved to Canada where I had my children. As a US Citizen, according to our Constitution, my children are automatically considered US citizens, but I can’t claim them on my taxes or get socials for them without paying a ton of money for a piece of paper to agree with our Constitution. Immigrants that come here legally have to pay a bunch of money for Visa’s and to get their green card or citizenship, while we are throwing those who sneak across our borders into our communities.

            It is inhumane to leave them at the border or to send them back? Yet it is perfectly okay to place criminals with homicide and rape convictions into our communities with our children and families?

            I can honestly say that I don’t understand the politicians that run our country. When it comes down to it, their gray area is actually black and white. If you cross the border illegally, you go home. Simple. If you send your children here, you deserve to have them taken away, and guess what, we are sending them back. Simple. I know it sounds heartless, but when it did it become America’s job to take care of the world?

            Do you think Mexico would take care of the US if we needed it? No. Nor would any other country. Should we help other countries if we can? Absolutely, it’s part of what makes our country great, but that does not include trying to take over the country we are helping nor does it mean putting our citizens at risk.

            Granted this is just my opinion as an American citizen, but to me it seems that we make a big deal out of what should be simple. I think somewhere along the way our country has gotten lost and forgotten what the Constitution is about. We have forgotten what our Fore Fathers wanted for our country and sometimes it’s the basics, the bare essentials that we forget about and that we ignore. Don’t even get me started on what pansies we have become and how over sensitive we are and have becomes…perhaps that is another blog.

Until the next scribble.... 

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all you daddy's out there who are there day in and day out. Who play the role and love the role being a dad gives them each day. To the daddy's that kiss the boo-boo's, wipe away the tears, give hugs and spend every day doing what need's to be done. The one's who stay through the good, the bad and the not-so-much-fun days. You are awesome.

To all you single mom's out there, it is easy to put down your ex, but remember he gave you the best thing that ever happened to you. He gave you the child(ren) you hold dear and without him, those little angels would not be here. I know, believe me I know, it is easy to rant and dis your ex and call him every name in the book. Don't. This day is not just to honor the Father's who are good, but to honor the children the bad one's created.

In our home, we don't celebrate Father's Day in the way most do. It is a day I spend with my little one's and honor them. They love their dad, and they miss him, it is not my place to take that away from them or destroy their feelings for him. I get to remember him as the dad he was, the father he started out to be and the one that I know deep down is still there. They get to keep their ideas of him in their hearts and minds.
Ladies let me tell you something, killing this idea in their heads does not alienate him, does not work out the way you want it and in the end that one that looks bad is you.

At one time you loved this guy enough to create life with him. He is not (or was not) all bad. When I look at my children, I see him in them. I see him in K who loves Robotics, band and hates brand names. I see him in A who has a love for tinkering and building things. I see him in S, when she chooses to show that sensitive side of her, the one who gets her feeling hurt easily. I see him in M, even though M has never seen him, who is sensitive and loving and who would makes friends everywhere he goes. I him in their eyes, their smiles and their laughter. I know their are dad's out there who don't deserve to be celebrated, but remember without them, your children would not be here. Those hugs, kisses, muddy hand-prints
, sticky fingers that leave stickiness everywhere they touch, would be nothing, not even a distant memory. That little one who you held in your arms for the first time, who looked at you with big crocodile tears would not be even a thought on your radar if it was not for the man who helped you create them. Celebrate the good father's, there are some out there, and celebrate the children who love their father's unconditionally.