Proverbs 31: 10-31 Pt.1

As women, (sorry men I can't speak for you on this one), we struggle don't we? To be everything to everyone and when we do this, we struggle. We try to put on the garments of perfection, something we know can't be obtained, because to be human is to be imperfect. So why do we try to be something we know we can't?

Tonight, as with most nights, I read Proverbs 31:10-31 The Virtuous Woman (or in the NLT: A Wife of Noble Character). This passage always gets to me, because on the outside, without delving deeper into it, she seems like the perfect wife, mother and person. She seems to be something we strive for but can never obtain. But what happens when we inspect it and we dig deeper into this passage?

10: Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. (NLT)

What does this mean to you? To me, it means to simply be there for your husband, make him the only one you turn to and never turn to any other man over your husband. I pray this is the kind of wife I will be, when the day comes that I am a wife again. No one should come above, before or even after, your husband, except of course God. Being virtuous means to be faithful and to have high morals. Keep this close to you and honor your husband.

What does this mean if you are single (after all this is a blog written by a single mom and for single parents right?) Well let me tell you what I think that it means. I think it means that we need to strive for and prepare for our future husband. Prepare to be the kind of wife that you want to be in the event you find the one who will be your husband. Live a virtuous life. (This is easier to say than it is to do).

11-12: Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. (NLT)

This should be simple right?! Trust is not easily fixed, and should never be broken, but it happens. Can it be repaired? I believe it can, if done in the right context. If you are trying to fix a relationship (and this can go for dating as well) and trust is broken early on, then maybe its a sign of what is to come and maybe it is a way to work out the major kinks before marriage. My theory and again this only my opinion and it could be wrong, but if it you are just dating and trust is an issue, maybe it is best to move on. Life is too short to keep repeating mistakes you made in the past. Marriage is going to take a lot of work and you both are going to say and do things that will hurt each other. As a wife, it is our goal to try our best to not hurt the person we love. It is our duty to love him and to be there and to help him, not harm him. Can your husband trust you? Does he know that without a doubt you are his and his alone? Does he know that you will do whatever it takes to keep him in your life. You will fight the devil (and you may have to, whether it be spiritual or in human form) to keep him. Sounds simple, but some days it will exhaust you, but it will always be worth it.

In verses 15-17 she is working to keep her home running and her family taken care of. She is preparing meals, taking care of business, and keeping her home the way she sees fit and in a way that honors God, her husband, herself and her children. Now as a mom you know how hard this is and at the end of the day we just want nothing more than to just fall into bed and end the day, except K needs help finishing her homework or M is throwing up in the bathroom and needs his mommy. Sometimes it seems like our days never end and we keep on doing. It is a gift to be able to do this, believe it or not.

16: She goes to inspect a field and buys it (NLT)

I know you are looking at this and thinking, "why does God want me to buy a field?" "I live in the city, what do I need a field for? Where would I even get one?" Well I don't believe that his is actually talking about buying a field. Look deeper...delve into the meaning behind considering a field and then buying it. As women we take on more than we can handle, because we feel compelled to be everything to everyone. I know this all to well, as many of you do too. What are you contemplating? Taking on a new task? A new job? A big move? In my bible I wrote this next to this verse, "Before taking on new tasks, consider how they affect you and your family. Do you have the time?" Saying no does not come easily to me. I want to help those who need it, even if I just don't have the time, and I know I don't. Just recently there is a situation that needs help, and I know in my heart that all I can do is pray. I don't have the time to do this, even though part of me wants to do it. Consider how what you are about to do or take on will affect those around you. Your kids, your husband, your family. If they are negatively affected in anyway, its not meant for you to do. However, if it is a God-given task, like Peter in Acts, do it and don't ask questions. If it is God-given, He will make it work. Consider before you buy.


Tomorrow, I will discuss the next section. The thing to remember is that while perfection seems like something we need to be striving for, what we need to be striving for is the only one that is perfect...God. As Philippians 4:13 tells us, we can do all things through Christ who is our strength. As I write this blog, I know I am preparing myself as well as digging deeper into God's word. Sometimes I think we take for granted those we love the most. We tell ourselves there is always tomorrow. We have time they can wait. Then we wake up tomorrow and find they are no longer there waiting for us.

As I write this, I struggle with a situation of my own. All I can do is pray that everything works out according to God's will. I gave up for awhile and I didn't trust God enough to handle this situation. In the end, I know if I lose, it is my fault for not trusting in God. Our relationships are never going to be easy and God does not promise us easy. So as I end this here for now, I pray that it is not too late and that even right now as it all seems lost, I have hope and hope can change everything. I pray that whatever you are struggling with right now, God gives you direction and patience. His timing and His will are far better than what we can do on our own. So be a virtuous woman and be a woman you would like to know.

Until the next Scribble....

The Submissive Wife

What comes to your mind when you hear the phrase, "submissive" wife? Do you find yourself chained to the kitchen? At your husbands every beck and call? Do visions of 50 Shades of Gray scenes? I know when I first heard it, I scoffed and then laughed. There was no way, I would ever become submissive. Not to mention, you could be envisioning every feminist woman chasing after you with bats or trying to run you over with a car because you dare to undo years of women becoming equal to men.

Now before you pick up your cast iron skillet to beat me over the head and ask me if I have lost my mind, remember that the bible does tell us in Ephesians 5:22 "wives submit unto your husbands as to the Lord." The key word here is submit. Not bow down to, cater to, and have no voice or opinion.

So what does it mean? 

Today's society has warped the words submit and submissive. It has turned into something of a sexual nature with whips and chains and all things unholy and that do not belong in the bedroom. Or it has turned into something even worse...a slave to your husband and he commands you at his will to do his bidding. It has corrupted the beauty in being a submissive wife. Yes, I said beauty. 

God created marriage to be a beautiful union of two people to build a life together. TOGETHER. Someone to share the ups and downs with, someone to help you when you are feeling down. The husband is not the controller, he is the leader. He is the strength behind the family that builds their foundation on God's word. The husband "leads with strong hands", as it says in the song Lead Me, by Sanctus Real.

Submission simply means that you let go of control and let your husband lead. Let him hold your hand and guide you. It means that you listen to him and you make decisions with him. Its a relationship that is based on faith in God and faith in each other. Being submissive is trusting in your choice to make this man your husband. Trusting him as your partner in this life. 

Now here comes the bats, I do believe that the wife belongs in the home. She cares for and tends to the home. She makes it a place of warmth, love and family. She takes care of her family. The breakdown of the family and of society began when the family got put on the back burner. That is probably another blog later, but truly Proverbs 31:10-31 is the instructions for a wife and mother. It is what we as women are called to be. It is the perfect description of how we should want to be. 

I am not telling every wife and mother out there to go and quit their jobs, some of us can't. Single mother's can't for sure. I am saying that if it is feasible, do it. If it means cutting a few things out of your budget, moving to a smaller home, then isn't it worth it? Isn't spending the few short years raising your children and being home when they get out of school worth giving up a few material possessions? 

Being a submissive wife is about love, honor and respect, not bondage, chains. It doesn't mean you can't argue with your husband, personally I would rather not. It does not mean don't voice your opinion, but remind yourself that if your husband feels that something is best for the family, definitely know that it probably is. I mean, common sense here, if he is telling you to bomb and abortion clinic, you definitely might want to reconsider this and pray for him. Chances are, since your relationship is based on God's Word, he is not telling you do this. Chances are he has given it a lot of thought and prayed about it. 

I want to also point out, that while I believe the wife belongs at home, caring for the home and all that, I also believe that you can be a submissive wife and work. Not all women married or single can be stay-at-home wives/mothers. Some choose to work from home, which allows them to stop working and go pick up a sick kid from school or run a quick errand that came up. 

Your husband should be the one you look to for answers (aside from God, that is a given), he is the one you should seek comfort from. He is the one who you should comfort when he needs it. He is the one your heart belongs to. Submit to your husbands as to the Lord and I promise you, you will not regret it.