Reflection

Yesterday, having been my birthday I thought it might be a cause to reflect...a little. It has been a rough year, but in many ways a blessed year....but still a very rough year. Things absolutely did not go my way, I have had new experiences, some pleasant and some that make me go WTH was I thinking? Seriously? I did THAT!?

I am not a perfect mom, and I don't ever plan to be....simply because it is not possible. I have tried. I have worn myself out from sheer exhaustion trying. I am not the perfect daughter....I get mad, I say things I don't necessarily mean and well, we don't get to choose our family do we? I am not the perfect sister....I get mad to easily to be, but I love my siblings regardless...just won't put them on my Facebook anymore. I have loved, and I have lost, but this last year has shown me that regardless of what happens....family is the most important.

So what have I learned this year....

1) God loves us regardless of our mistakes and will forgive us, if we ask.
2) Patience is a virtue that I DO NOT possess.
3) Just because you know what you want, does not mean you will get it.
4) Being the perfect mom is not about to happen
5) I like being single....but there are days it sucks.
6) My children are my life
7) With 4 children, its a good thing I like being single (most days) because no wants to take on these 4!
8) Life is not what you make it, but how you deal with what is thrown at you shows what kind of person you are. Stuff happens beyond your control. Deal with it, get mad, cry, move on.
9) The person you divorced will constantly amaze you and contradict the person you thought he/she was.
10) Vodka makes everything go away for awhile, add cranberry juice and it makes it a lot sweeter and easier to swallow.

We all live our lives worried about whether we are doing it right. If you are happy you are fine. I still want the condo in San Francisco, the perfect house, the perfect family, the perfect everything.....but I have the perfect children...for me and as long as they are healthy and happy, my life is good. The occasional Vodka cranberry bliss will suffice as an escape from the mundane.....and I do mean occasional!

Until the next Scribble..............