Strong Enough

Algebra. Two kids home sick. 1 kid calling home to say he is sick. Laundry piling up. All of that and it is that time of the month...this is what we call a recipe for disaster.

M is bothering his sister, cause while he is sick (runny nose and cough) he wants to be at school, not at home. S is getting annoyed (because that is what she does) and I am trying to solve linear equations. Did I mention I have two terms of Algebra? Laundry gets halted. Bugging, laundry, x=y+3(4z-6) and now I have to stop what I am doing and go pick up A from school (did I mention he told me this morning he was going to call home sick?)

Can you feel the anger and frustration boiling? (intensify it by 100 because it is that time of the month).

That's it. I missed two questions on a 4 question quiz....for stupid things like not putting the negative sign on my answer and forgetting to simplify.
For
My future rolled out in front of me and I was done. There is not point to me going to school. Why? Well let me tell you, I am going to fail the next two terms (my conscience won't let me have some one do the work and the tests for me), therefore my current A GPA is going to go down to at least a C-, and I need at least a B GPA to get into some law schools and an A GPA to get into the law schools I want. So, no law school, no point continuing my education and I should just get my job back at the local convenience store as that is what my future holds.

Whoa.

Well into the car I go with these dark thoughts in my head. Ticked off and ready to explode. The non-christian radio station is on....I am suppose to be taking the 30 day challenge through K-love. www.klove.com (in case you want to take the 30 day challenge) (remind me to go sign up like I keep meaning to do, just never get to it) I think who cares. No one is going to know that I didn't listen to it while I was in the car. I am the only one in the car. Heck, I will know. God will know and on to K-love the radio goes. Be right back...before I forget again to sign up.

Back...

As I turn the channel onto K-love, Matthew West's song Strong Enough is on.
                                                                 "Well, forgive me

Forgive me if I'm wrong

But this looks like more than I can do

On my own"

 

Amen I thought. This is more than I can do, more than I signed up for. More, more, more and every day it seems like there is more, more and even more. I am done. I am ready to give up. Move on. Move on from what I hear myself asking. Move on from your kids? Your reason for not giving up?

The song continues and I can feel myself calming done. It's just numbers and some letters. Its just kids being kids. Everyone is sick right now.

 

"Well, maybe

Maybe that's the point

To reach the point of giving up"

 

Maybe that is the point. I am not strong enough to be everything to everyone, and yet I am doing it. I want more for myself and for my children and Algebra is the way to that. The current situation is not good for us, we need our own space. What I am saying is that we need more than this and Algebra is the way to that. (Feel free to insert whats you need for Algebra). God doesn't give us more than we can handle.

 

Psalms 18:32

 

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze."

 

I am not strong enough...on my own. I need God to give me the strength I need. Like it says in Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through HIM who gives me strength" Notice that I highlighted and made bold the word Him. Because God (aka him) is the reason and the source of my strength. By the end of the song, I am good. I may not be completely at peace, I still want to cry for the frustrating day I have been having and the last 6 years that on the outside appear to be hell.

 

The thing is, all this frustration, anger, bitterness and self-doubt does not come from God. It comes from the devil. Whether we want to see it or admit it or not, this is the truth. God does not give self-doubt or feelings of worthlessness. He gives encouragement and strength. He gives love and support. Yes, he challenges us....I have been highly challenged for 6 six years...but he doesn't give us more than we can handle.  I am also saying...that this 30 day challenge is working. It is positive.

So the conclusion: God is strong enough for anything we feel we can not handle. We are not alone and he will carry us.