Vodka Reality Doesn't Suck

                Everyone tells you that divorce is liberating, kind of like the feeling you get when you have held your pee in for a long time and finally get to the toilet and let it out. The relief you feel is enormous and liberating. They tell you that you will start over and you are so much better without him (or her), and that you are finally free. No more fighting over who does the dishes, when in the end you know its going to be you. No longer being asked whose house is in that painting you just put on the wall. No idea....I didn't paint and no I don't know the artist. No more of going into the bathroom only to see that his clothes again did not make it INTO the hamper, just IN FRONT of it.  I'd say no more toilet seat being left up, but I have two boys so I am luck if its up and NOT peed on before my tired butt plops down on to it and nearly falls in.

                The first few days, you think maybe they are right. Maybe there is something to what they say. You can do this, you can live alone, raise your children on your own and you can start over and life will be how you always pictured it. Vodka induced pictures of the picture are a lot rosier than reality. Vodka allows you to see a seaside cottage as your new house decorated with shabby chic furniture and décor and the kids cheerfully playing on the beach while you sit in your lounge chair, vodka and Kindle in hand relaxing away your worries.

                Reality paints a whole different scenario, one you can’t change with another glass of Vodka and cranberry juice. In reality’s picture you are being woke up by your five year old toddler at 5 am in the morning wanting to get ready for school. You are stumbling bleary eyed to the coffee pot stepping on the Thomas the Train tracks your son didn’t pick up like you asked him to five hundred times. As you get to the kitchen you realize you are out of coffee and there a no clean towels for your little man’s shower. As you are drying him off with a cotton tee-shirt and getting him ready for kindergarten you suddenly realize that today is not a school day! It is Sunday and you should still be in bed. That cute little cottage by the beach is actually a trailer in the country or an apartment on the wrong side of the tracks, and the shabby chic décor is thrown together pieces of furniture that have no rhyme or reason to it. Relaxing, in reality is an impossibility or resembles something to crashing into bed after an exhausting day of playing mommy and taking care of the house and everything else. The children fighting, teasing and running around the house trying to draw blood from one another, while leaving behind what I assume would be the effects of a hurricane that had ripped through and then turned back around and ripped through again, followed by an earthquake that tossed the items around even more, for a finished look that makes you glad you don’t have the shabby chic décor….

                OK so reality is not as bad as it sounds, but divorce is not as rosy as everyone makes it out to be either. While you were married you lived comfortably, and by comfortably I am not talking about a comfortable house in the posh part of town with a maid and a butler, but life made sense, you had a routine, you had a schedule that worked. Nothing seemed impossible. Marriage, however, is not as great as it sounds either. You have to…ugh…compromise. Ugly word.  Both have their ups and downs and their pros and cons, but the only thing that makes it truly worth doing is, another glass of Vodka and the simple fact that these children make it all worth the sacrifices you have had make….of course there are the days you would take it all back, redo it and pray to go back undo it all just for a little bit of quiet. What the hell, it will be quiet enough when I am dead, right?

Until the next Scribble......