With Coffee Comes Wisdom

Okay, so maybe the coffee itself does not give you the wisdom. However, sitting down, drinking a cup and reflecting can.

Granted right now, things are not the way I want them. I can accept it, I don't have to like it. I pray for the strength to get up in the morning and see the blessings I have in my life. I have 4 that mean the world to me and right now I feel like I am failing them. Drinking my cup of coffee, I realize that maybe failing is a bit too strong. They have what the need and some of what they want, but what we all need the most is a place of our own. Away from the crap and the headaches. Away from influences that are not appropriate for little ones to be around.

I will not, under no circumstance, apologize for my belief that there are some people your children do no need to be around. I will not let them believe it is okay to be a drug addict or an alcoholic. I am tired of tiptoeing around trying to make everything okay, trying to keep my children quiet...they are kids, you can't make them quiet. Truth be told, they are not that loud, they are just kids.

I meant what I said in previous posts, when I leave, this time I will not look back. Reality has slapped me in the face more than once in the last two weeks and I am getting tired of that too. When I have to step back and admit that my ex was right, it really is time to get a new perspective. I admit, he was not always wrong, but on this, I truly wanted him to be.

Maybe I am over sensitive (it is possible after 10 years with a person who is sensitive, that some of that could have rubbed off), maybe I am not sensitive enough, (Lord only knows how many times I have been told that), but I am who I am and if you don't like it, stay away.

I don't have the answers yet, but I know that they will come. I just have to keep Faith that they will come. That change will come because change is definitely wanted. I will never be tolerable of drugs and criminals. I have learned you can't be. This is not to say, I don't believe people can change, I know they can, I have seen proof, they can. It just means if you are going to change, you are going to have to do it on your own. I have my own life and my kids' life to look out for. They are truly all I care about anymore. Well them and a few others.

Hope all is well with everyone (It will be with me soon God Willing)